Should I leave ?

[VenusJupiter]

I am considering leaving due to what I think is emotional abuse. DC is nearly 3 months. Hopefully I have somewhere to go soon and it will be alot of upheaval.

Basically DD said if I don't submit to what he wants then leave.. He keeps complaining that I am not working just now because we'll DC needs me. He pays all the bills and I contribute where I can as I'm on statutory maternity pay. Luckily I have parents that are well off, but mum has taken his side. Basically he has been talking to my mum behind my back after I gave birth saying I'm depressed and that I'm horrible to him. Yes I have been extra needy and hormonal, but I thought that was normal? He never shows empathy and says if I want affection I need to earn it.
My mum I feel really came between us and I think will feel ashamed if I leave him, but I can't take it anymore. He already punched a picture of us. He also says I have no right to question him about anything ever. Also he leaves me at home working two jobs, but still complains bills are high and he has no money. My parents have helped out lots with DC buying supplies etc. His family never gave one thing to DC, but I don't expect anything.

How can he treat me this way? I think it's clear he doesn't love me. It was a rocky road prior to this.

Have confided in health visitor and been asked to contact WA and also been referred to other organisations.

Womens Aid are contactable 7 days a week I believe. They will advise re the passport and other documents or signpost to legal advice.

You're in a Narcissist Family Cult. People outside reading might eye roll. Only when you've experienced this can you understand the hideous nature of it. It's more common than people realise and the damage is huge for people trying to operate normally in these families. That's you.

Most of them will try everything to stop you leaving the dynamic, including getting away from your husband.

There's a great advantage that your dad has money. I would very much be asking for alot of discrete financial help from him. A new private bank account.

Call them OP just to scope out what a different future might look like. He won't change. They usually get worse with age these beastly people.

Thanks for your reply.

You completely get it. Yes I have contacted WA to get back to me.
My phone is quite safe because he doesn't know the pass code. He wouldn't dare check mine because he wouldn't want to show me his.
I really just pray DD and me are free eventually and that he eventually bores and leaves us in peace. Wishful thinking on my part yes.
He constantly says he wants ' peace', but he shouts and is so loud and rude to me. 'Peace' I know now is me not questioning anything.
He has an intense lack of empathy and I feel my daughter will be too sensitive for him to handle. I'm so scared of her being hurt and remembering when she grows up.

Yes , my dad I believe will help me in secret.

I hope you are safe and at ease now . Sending love ❤️ Thanks for taking your time.

Go and see a GP and ask for a wellness check for both you and your child to show that you're fine physically and mentally.

That way your dickhead partner can't make shit up and claim you're mentally unsound to care for your child if he tries to take you to court.

Also definitely report the passport as stolen. Also when you do finally leave get a Port Alert Order in place. It will stop him taking your daughter abroad if he tries to kidnap her.

This doesn’t sound good OP. Re the passport, they will only allow the person who applied to cancel it, safeguarding reasons. Not sure if there’s a legal route though, if you needed a passport and he won’t give it to you. Unbelievable your own mother will take his side. Speak to your dad and come up with a plan to leave. This is no way to live. Take care.

Good morning all,

Yes I really am in a rut. Yes , have had a wellness check with solicitor and what got forwarded to social services ( his false accusations) were dropped. GP wants to see me again because health visitor says I need to speak to GP again about the EA.

Only thing I have is recording where he confesses to the passport and treats me like I'm stupid..

• wellness check with GP.. sorry multitasking

You can order another copy of her birth certificate. I’d be going through the house while he’s at work to find that passport too.