I wasn't being abusive

[Hippychickbbbb]

I saw a post saying have you ever thrown something and people on mums net said that they did i wasn't hurting anyone throwing a mug i was alone i had been pushed beyond my limit by my husband I didnt do that all the time I didnt like the judgemental comments saying I was being abusive i didnt throw the mug at anyone I already felt bad enough i needed understanding not judgemental comments I only raised mu voice out of extreme distress and emtions he has since ended the marriage I need understanding not judge ment I googled this apparently it normal to raise your voice if extremely stressed im angry im only human and can only take so much extreme stress before I snap

No idea what this is about OP. What has happened?

I have read some of your previous threads and you are being far, far too hard on yourself @Hippychickbbbb
From what I can remember you were bullied by this man, pushed away, called names.
I am not a therapist, and I think people use the word traumatised too often, but I do think it fits what you have been through.
Stop, stop, stop berating yourself.
Throwing a cup or raising your voice isn’t ideal but it seems you were absolutely at the end of your rope.
Take a breath. I know it’s tough but you need to concentrate on yourself for a bit. Don’t worry about meeting anyone else for a while, you are too vulnerable right now.
You definitely need some help and support. Please go to your GP, if you can, and tell them how you are feeling.
You have a life that’s yours and you deserve to live it. You are not an abuser, you are not abusive.
You are clearly very traumatised, and upset by what has happened to you.
Knowing that, and that you didn’t cause it, is really important for you to know right now.
I hope that helps a bit.

Im struggling i feel traumatised terrified most of the time i feel he's done far worse than me he punched a door through i have been beating myself up for everything throwing things i also threw a plate i know it wasn't great he called me a worthless cunt

Knocking on his door several times he said he's had enough as I was banging on his door i was knocking not banging he said I kept banging on his door i didn't it was several times he's been cruel to me as I came back after the social club I'd had some alcohol and he said I was slurring my words he said I was self obsessed me me me, i wasnt harming anyone dd was asleep in bed I didn't mean to drink so much the lady at the bar kept offering me drinks and I didn't realise how much I'd had I didnt think I hate myself im not self obsessed, I'm terrified

You need to leave. Trying to figure out if you are abusive or not is ignoring the bigger picture. He's violent and you are terrified. Get out.

It's not clear if you are still with this person, if you are terrified you need to leave. Who owns the property you live in.

You need some help desperately.

When you are sober, please read through all the threads you have created.

There’s such a thing as reactive abuse, that is a person reacts with what could be called violence but in context it is the result of extreme provocation

OP its called reactive abuse, and essentially its when someone is abused for an extended period of time, and they just take it until they snap, and they react with shouting, pushing or anything else to "protect themselves, but essentially one just snaps.

I am sorry you have had a tough time. Be kind to yourself.