How many would choose love over financial security?

[Yoko999]

I’ve been thinking a lot about what people value most in relationships. If you had to choose between being with someone you truly love but who can’t offer financial stability, or someone who provides security but maybe lacks that deep emotional connection. What would you choose?
This isn’t just a hypothetical for me. I’ve been in love before where money was tight, and I’ve also dated people who could give me everything except that emotional spark. I’m curious to hear what others think. Do you believe love can survive long-term without financial comfort? Or is security more important than we like to admit?

Depends. I’m financially stable so I don’t need a man’s money though I would want to know why he was financially unstable. If it was because he was in a low paid job then that wouldn’t bother me. If it was because he couldn’t hold down a job because he was lazy/kept arguing with everyone/a dick or he was addicted to booze/drugs/gambling etc. then I would not want to be with a man like that.

I wouldn’t want to be with a man I didn’t love, no matter what. I stayed with my ex for too long after I no longer loved him (not sure why - fear of leaving and inertia, I’d guess) and it was souls destroying.

I can’t imagine getting to the point of being in love with someone who wasn’t financially responsible. It’s not as much about how much money someone has, but how they think about money. If we don’t share similar values, I can’t imagine falling in love.

The only person responsible for my financial security is me. I wouldn't marry someone to use them as a bank.

How about neither?
I'd rather be by myself than in either one of these relationships. The way you've posed this question holds the intrinsic belief that the primary goal of a woman is to have a partner. It's not. My primary goal is to have peace and happiness. If a man adds to that, he's welcome to share my space. If not, I'd rather be alone.

So in regards to your question. I wouldn't choose a partner who's financially stable but who I feel no love for. I can work for my own money. I don't need a partner for that.
And I wouldn't choose a partner, even if I love him, if he's financially irresponsible or lacks ambition. I can financially provide everything I need, for myself and for my children. I don't need a partner to support me. But I also won't consider being in a relationship with someone who will drag me down with his poor financial decisions.

What do you mean ‘can’t offer financial stability’. Spending on drugs/gambling etc? Or not loaded?

I would much rather have an amazing relationship than be a millionaire. But someone not ‘stable’ wouldn’t be for me at all!

It depends on your personal circumstances and I won't judge anyone for choosing money over love. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a choice. I know a few very beautiful Thai brides that have survived real poverty and abusive relationships. They have all married well off British men who are either old, not particularly good looking or just social awkward. They are more than happy with the lives they have now and the financial security. Not one of them would risk that for love.

Judging by some of the cocklodger stories on here. A lot of women would be better off thinking with there heads instead of there hears.

Depends what you mean by financial instability.

Long term unemployed, in and out of work, debt, unreliable with money (eg poor spending choices) - not a chance I'd even date them.

Minimum wage - would depend on why and what their job was.

Just an average/not a high earner - wouldn't bother me.

Assuming the latter, I'd choose love over money. I have a professional career. I don't need a man's money. But I wouldn't be with someone who jeopardised my own security or expected me to bank roll them.

Depends what you mean about 'financial stability'. If you mean poverty due to working as a carer or something, then love would win out, since I have enough for my needs.

If it means someone who is reckless with their money, or who spends a lot on stuff for status, or who is a gambler etc then I would not be in love with them anyway.

For a relationship to be successful, it's important to have a shared attitude to money. Otherwise one of you ends up being the 'parent' and one the 'impulsive child' and that's not conducive to romance and love long-term.