I'm 20 and my bfs 28 we've been dating for 7 months now. We are in a long distance relationship he lives 6hrs away. We've only met once till now. He doesn't have a job so he can't come visit and I can't go to him as I got curfew. I was feeling confused and insecure about my bf following unfollowing and refollowing his ex so I made a post on reddit asking for advice. (I'll post the text below of the post). That's when this guy reached out to me and we started talking. It started out with advice but then he proposed. I said I'll date him if I breakup with my bf. We kept in touch and i started having feelings too. My bf is always busy with this and that so we don't talk anymore like we used too. This new guy (25) is in the Navy and keeps changing time zones but we still talk more. My bf and I barely talk anymore cuz he's busy and even when we do it's just for 5 mins before he goes of to do something else. I'm getting more drawn to the new guy cuz he's willing to come visit me and offering to do things my bf isn't. My bf has made promises of coming to visit in the past but never actually does. He has a pattern of not keeping his word. I have a hard time trusting his words anymore. Plus he's not actively looking for a job even now. He's been unemployed for around 6 months now. I'm really confused as to what to do. I love my bf but idk if he'll get his shit together any time soon or if at all.
The reddit post:
My (20F) boyfriend (28M) keeps unfollowing and following his ex on Instagram. We've been together for 4 months and they were together for about a year. He dated another person after that for a couple months before getting with me.
When we first started dating they were already following each other and he did tell me they were still in touch.
He doesn't know that I check his following every now and then but I did find out that he unfollowed her and she did as well.
He then refollowed her and unfollowed her, while she still kept following him after that.
Yesterday I saw that he started following her again.
They did get physical after breaking up even though she was with someone else at that time. He found out later that she hadn't broken up with this new guy like she claimed to be but he still kept in touch with her.
He did tell me that there's a high chance that she will approach him again. Currently she is engaged to someone new(she even called him for her engagement).
Idk if I should be concerned with this behaviour. I do get the feeling that he's not completely over her. Whenever he talks about her he does get a bit worked up and angry.
I'm pretty insecure about my appearance and his ex is really beautiful (he did even bring it up as a reason why he still hung onto her after breaking up).He sent me her photos which he still had saved on his drive. He said he didn't know he still had them. I'm not sure if he deleted it.
Idk if this is my insecurity talking or if I should actually be concerned. Also this is my first relationship.
He does tell me he loves me and he has never felt this way about her and everything.He doesn't call me beautiful or reassure me in any sort of way in the case of physical appearance.
I'm rambling at this point it's 2am and I'm really bothered by this whole ordeal. Idk if I'm bothered because she's beautiful or because I actually believe that he might not be over her.