Long distance relationships - what did/didn’t work

[BoxOfCats]

I’ve just started casually seeing someone who lives about a 2.5-3 hour journey from me. Met on OLD and it’s only our 3rd date this weekend, although we’ve chatted and FaceTimed quite a bit too.

I’ve not been in a long distance relationship before so just starting to think about how this could actually work if we make a go of it. Particularly as he is quite lovely so far!

Keen to hear from other people who have been in a LDR if there was anything in particular that helped to make it work (or anything that didn’t!)

The practical details:

-He has 2 older children (9 & 12) 50% of the time, although the days he has them mean he still has every other weekend free. He works remotely, and his head office is based in my city so he’s up here every couple of weeks for work anyway.

-I am child free and technically only need to be in the office 3 days a week so could in theory travel down every week or two to see him. I have cats who would need feeding if I’m away, but also a lodger who might be able to feed them for me.

-Longer term the career opportunities for him are in my city, so if this did work out i guess he could be based up where I am 50% of the time. But it’s been too early days so far to really discuss any of this properly yet!

My husband was a LDR for about 3 years. We were young and both knew it was a very serious relationship. No kids or anything. But it was hard!! Sometimes he’d travel to see me if I was missing him too much or was upset which was lovely. I felt lonely without him even though I had a full/busy life. Obviously no one plans a LDR but I don’t think anyone particularly recommends one either 😂

Yes, he has a house where he i, so can’t imagine he would sell up while his children still needed him around in any capacity. More thinking that he might spend more time up where I am eventually, especially if he was working up here (as where he is there are very few jobs in his line of work, but there are plenty up here). But we need to have a proper conversation about it really (if and/or when the time is right).