Advice on how to self care/self love

[Mumlaplomb]

I am having a bit of an emotionally draining time at the moment, with a health scare and marriage difficulties. I have over the last few years “let myself go” in terms of weight and general self care, due to pressures of work and kids and lack of support. I have recently been eating healthy and have started making headway with the weight issue.
However I could do with some tips on how to self care/look after myself, love myself essentially, to boost my self esteem and make me feel good. If anyone has any, from big to small, please share as I just feel a bit lost! Thank you

Honestly the number one thing for me was exercise. I didn’t even have the (valid) excuse of marriage troubles and health scares for my low self-esteem. It’s like I was born with it. Anyway, from age 26, I discovered exercise and started going to exercise classes regularly. It is impossible to exaggerate how completely TRANSFORMATIVE this was for me. Seeing my body change, and seeing my effort and discipline translate into quite literally visible results was the biggest boost to my confidence and self-esteem. I could not imagine how much of a difference it could make. It also naturally leads to other forms of self-care: eating healthily to fuel your body for exercise, getting enough sleep and rest to optimise workout sessions, drinking lots of water and cutting back on alcohol to keep hydrated etc.

It can be scary to start, but my recommendation is to start with exercise classes to find what you love so it doesn’t feel like a chore. For me it’s barre and HIIT - I am literally excited to get to class because I enjoy these types of workouts so much. Find your workout and stay consistent with it.

Best of luck!

I like changes that are really small and manageable. Youtube is so valuable for this:
5 minute affirmation sessions
5 minute meditations
5 minute morning and evening yoga stretches
10 minute mini bootcamps
And it's also good for playing your favourite uplifting songs from your youth - or from now. or for watching a clip from your favourite comedian or comedy show. Or a 15-minute TED talk on some topic that is relevant to you.

If you Google CBT self compassion and self care worksheets you will get a load of downloadable resources. Just work through the ones that resonate for you.

You could start by creating mini rituals and routines - get up 15 mins earlier and brew a cup of tea, then spend 5 mins on yoga stretches and 5 mins on affirmations. Done every day, it adds up.

At night, do squats while cleaning your teeth. Take 10 mins to have a quick shower and take your make up off and moisturise, if you don't already.

Do high knees or lunges while waiting for the kettle to boil or for the microwave to ping. Doesn't matter if it's only 5 or 10 of them. Better than none. Tiny changes help.

As a PP has said I joined classes such as yoga, adult ballet and lady boxing. I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that before but I’m so glad I pushed myself to try these new things because I really enjoy them, have met lovely people and feel more motivated to move my body.

The biggest thing that helps me is time outside, I love going for walks even if the weather isn’t great and I feel good after because I’ve moved my body. Treat myself to an ice cream or something on the way round, bliss. I take my book and a picnic blanket and sit in the park, or sometimes if it’s really crap weather I drive somewhere nice and sit in the car with a view and book.