I’m leaving tomorrow…I am…I am…

[Buzzyfeeder]

Not for the first time but it has to be the last. I’ve gone before and always come back within days with promises from us both about making it work. It doesn’t work. I’m sad, and so are they, so leaving is the right thing to do. I’m leaving their house, what is our home. My flat is empty waiting for me, I am financially independent nothing practical to stop me but i struggle with the finality of it - even knowing it is the right thing to do. Just could do with some MN cheerleaders really to get me over the line to a happier place, knowing I will mourn the loss but there is no happy future here anymore. I know it is the right thing but God knows it’s so hard.

Good luck for tomorrow. Can you not go today.
Life is for living as happy as you can be.

You say you keep going back so prove yourself and others wrong this time.

It’s hard to give people support when they run back but good luck.

Stop trying to be seen by them, and reclaim the ability to see yourself.

Good luck! Rooting for you.

Good on you! When going sober, I was told the first 100 days were the worst. Maybe that's the same when weaning yourself off a toxic relationship? I hope you've got some nice things lined up to take your mind off it, and keep yourself busy.

You can do this!! 💪

Youre talking about Ex’s house being your home, and an empty flat waiting for you. Might be an idea to move some of your ‘ homey’ things into the flat so that it doesn’t feel empty, make it lovely and welcoming. Don’t leave anything behind in Ex’s house, so there’s no temptation to go back and pick things up.
Maybe book yourself a holiday to look forward to, and book tickets for things so that you have definite plans, whether it’s film, theatre, classes whatever, put in a lot of structure so that there’s not too much free time to be moping around in.
Is there anyone you can ask to come and visit for the odd weekend? And arrange some visits yourself- family maybe?
If you work from home, maybe you can go into the office more often, or work from a public space.
My point is, don’t sit at home by yourself for long chunks of time, don’t indulge in sentiment like playing sad songs or movies, don’t look at old photos, just concentrate on building a better life for yourself. Don’t look back. And cut off contact with Ex. Maybe you’ll be able to be friends in years to come, but now is not the time to even be speaking to him, let alone ringing him because he’s your go-to support.
If you don’t want to completely block him, at least mute him on all social media, you don’t need to k ow what he’s doing, and you don’t need to be reminded of his existence every time you log on.

What do you need to do today to make it easier tomorrow, OP? Does he know you're going?

You can do this!

I like Delphinium's suggestions - you're moving home!

Buy some flowers if funds allow. If not pick a few buttercups to brighten up the flat.

Have you done all the practical stuff - postal re-direction / electoral register / bank details ? If not crack on with getting these in place so things feel more definite.

A fresh start, new beginnings, you've got it all to come.
Stop knocking on closed doors and be brave enough to open new ones.
There's so many wonderful people out there you have yet to meet.
Some relationships are not meant to last forever, and that's ok.
Remember the older version of yourself will be cheering you on.
It's ok to miss someone without wanting them back.

Treat yourself to some nice new things to make your "empty flat" feel more homely... maybe a new duvet, flowers, candles, cosy blanket.... whatever floats your boat.
Best of luck - good times ahead!

Leaving once and going back is sensible, leaving twice and going back is foolish, leaving 3,4,5 ...times and going back is like banging your head against a brick wall, totally pointless.
This relationship does not work, you know that so let it come to an end. You will be fine, you have no reason to make yourself unhappy by staying. Walk away and start the life you deserve.

Thank you all so much. I can feel your support and brilliant ideas - I am moving home 💗My flat is a few hours drive away so I can’t do any prep work with nice things but as soon as I’m there I will get some flowers etc I have started the admin, booking broadband etc to make it real. I feel sad but I know I feel sad staying too and it’s time. Thank you for the positive future comments too x I cannot leave today because of the logistics, travel time, work etc I’ve got the day booked off tomorrow and yes he knows it’s been a mutual ending. I guess before we have both wanted and willed it to work - it doesn’t. Thank you all for your kindness and support 🙏

It’s always hard. And the last days before moving out can be intense! As PP have said - keep busy with the practical mundane stuff that needs doing, make the flat your home again, also reconnect with friends nearby and keep busy socially, and try not to contact him for a while - at least until the intense feelings have subsided a bit.