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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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6 replies

Bellej88xx · 18/06/2025 21:38

Hey, this has been really getting to me now. My partner has been looking at women on Facebook. Reacting or checking out their page (not profiles) these women are obviously of a certain look that is literally on the other end of the scale compared to me and how I look.

The first time I seen anything I noticed a guy from his work sent a video of a woman being well a s*t on it. He has managed to screenshot from this video and deleted the video and kept the image. Only for me to find the video in his recycle bin. I confronted him about it. Which his response was i didn't do it which really p*sed me off i prefer the truth over lies. The second time I found something was on Facebook a page were this woman again nothing like me was jumping up and down her boobs were bouncing all over the place. (Seems to be her thing on her page) he also denied this and tried to blame me for heart reacting to it on Facebook. The lastest one I've found was he checked out a page where this woman clearly has pictures taken of her boobs hanging out the bottom of tank tops. Again she is if a particular look. These women are all of small build plastered with make up and well you can tell just edited images. He then lied about this and said it wasn't him or couldn't of been him as he was driving all day. But when I told him Facebook dates the actions I told him we were on a family holiday that day so you wasnt driving. Again he didn't see any issue here at all. I've been open and honest how it makes me feel. Its caused endless arguments also. Only last week I clocked him looking at a young girls backside no older than 15/16 infront of someone today he came out with well she is of age so there's nothing wrong with it. Then persisted on saying well it's better than looking at yours. All I get from him is that I'm crazy, I've got issues, I'm a control freak, I'm this, I'm that. Im being honest when I say ive kicked off I literally have kicked off. I locked him out the house he called the police on me for "clothes" ridiculous i know, only then for him to actually not even worn the clothes I put outside for nearly two hours before he sent a screenshot of his call log 101 was on his call log. Also when I kick off the either records me or says he is recording me stating he will show Social services. I don't hit him or touch him in anyway. I've told him he doesn't respect my feelings or doesn't take any accountability for it. He just puts it all back on me gaslighting is definitely something he is very good at. I've told him that I'm done with the relationship, I'm done feeling like I'm not enough. And the worst part about it is a few months ago as we all know our phones tailor to what we view and etc. Our 4 year old daughter was watching YouTube on his phone and every other video was of women in bikinis. To which I told my daughter to hand the phone over to me. I told him straight your phoen no matter what youre on will bring up things you've paid attention too. Again I'm wrong etc. No matter what I say or do. Get angry or stay silent. He always says I'm the one who creates all the negativity, I'm the one with issues I need my head sorting out. Im blowing it all out of proportions blah blah blah you know the usual deflecting it all back on me. And the icing on the cake is he said well let me look through your phone I was like ok then no worries. Checked Facebook, checked my Google history and there was absolutely nothing at all just suggest me being sleazy or perverted. He then deleted Facebook off his phone which I never asked. This is a guy who actually calls it snakebook. Then to actually see he was online a day later. Only then today telling me as a matter of fact that it's his phone, he decided to delete it. And decided to download it again. I've told him there's no trust or loyalty there at all now. To be honest I can't trust him as far as I could throw him.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 18/06/2025 22:58

So get rid?

Seaoftroubles · 18/06/2025 23:28

He enjoys perving on women and teenagers. He isn't interested in changing, he lies to your face and dismisses your feelings. He is not going to change but you can. Stop putting up with his disrespectful behaviour for your daughters sake and your own. Tell him you wish to separate and start taking steps to get rid of him.

SirRaymondClench · 19/06/2025 07:40

Ask yourself if this is going to get any better OP.

It's not is it? So in the bin he goes.

OneFineDay13 · 19/06/2025 07:41

Let him stay locked out and don't get back with him

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 19/06/2025 07:53

What are you doing OP? He’s a PoS. He is sleazy, a liar, a gaslighter. Just get rid of him. I can’t see any redeeming qualities that can possibly overshadow the things you’ve posted. Bin.

GreyCarpet · 19/06/2025 08:03

I've told him there's no trust or loyalty there at all now. To be honest I can't trust him as far as I could throw him.

So end it.

Tbh, OP, I briefly dated someone who behaved like this once. I ended it.

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