Help me give my head a wobble;re co worker

[Uberella]

Now before I go any further I’d like to make it clear I do not intend to take this any further.

I’m married;early 40’s,have older children and have been married a long time now.

I started a new job a few months ago and to cut a long story short I think I’ve developed a crush on a co worker,said co worker is younger and single,no kids.

We spent a lot of time together,we laugh constantly with each and generally are very playful with each other.He’s lovely,I don’t understand how he’s single tbh.

when I met him I didn’t suddenly think wow he’s attractive etc;these feelings have developed over time.I have no idea how he feels about me.

I think this might be transference and might simply be a result of things that might be lacking in my own relationship.

My co worker makes me feel seen,respected and as someone else other than someone’s mum/a wife.

It’s stupid and I need to sort myself out here;I don’t want to jeopardise my relationship nor potentially become the subject of embarrassing workplace gossip.

Has anybody else been in this situation and how did you move past it?.

I think you just need to see it for what it is. A bit of a crush. Just because people are married doesn’t mean you can’t have a crush. Plus it can make going into work every day a bit more enjoyable

The important bit it is to ensure it stays that way. I’d not engineer times to be together, not seek out this person and just keep them at arms length. Keep your crush at a distance, plus you’re new to the company, you don’t want people gossiping about you and this fella, because chances are it won’t have gone unnoticed if you’re laughing and giggling together all the time.

You’re absolutely right;luckily it’s probably flown under the radar of the main gossips as he works in a side department that doesn’t usually interacts with the main ones;my role means I have to work between the two.

I need to try to keep it more professional;I’ve probably just been enjoying the dopamine hit of abit of flirting.