Hi all, I’m at my wits end with my husband.wehave been together 11 years and have four children, whilst he has never been the most forthcoming with helping he has gotten progressively worse over the last 2 years. My father unfortunately has developed a drinking problem and with him no longer there to have my back it’s as if my husband feels he can just disregard me. We both work full time and I earn slightly more,not that it’s important to me but I pay all our bills each month and as he gets pjs weekly he gives me an amount each week, this barely covers half the bills and with that he also expects me to buy all the food and pay for the kids clothes, extra curricular classes etc all the while constantly moaning that he gives me all his money as though I’m spending it on luxuries for myself. He does nothing in the house and always blames being busy with the kids even though he doesn’t take them anywhere and I do all school runs and ferrying them to and from after school activities. My days off are spent cleaning the house top to bottom yet he can’t even do basic jobs, we have been in this house 18 months and he hasn’t hung the bathroom mirrors or built the girls wardrobes despite having 3 days off a week. If I ask him to take the kids somewhere he refuses and says he’s tired,knowing that I will give in and do it as I don’t want them missing out.
Im at the point where I have to remove myself from his company because if I ask for his help or try to discuss things reasonably he just starts accusing me of cheating and saying I’ll never find someone who will do what I expect, it’s exhausting.
I wish I could move out but could never leave my kids with him and despite me asking him to go and spend time with his mum for a while he point blank refuses and says I’ll have to give him money if I want home to go.
Every day I hope it will get better but it’s getting worse and worse and I can’t see a way out of it as there is no reasoning with him