Ex-wife has a Drug dealing boyfriend

[FunnyPoet]

I posted this in legal section but maybe i can get suggestions here also.

Ex-Wife (we share 3 kids * DD and DSs, all under 10) has a BF of 8months or so and I found out he is a drug dealer and he keeps his money and drugs in her home as a safe place.
A few issues of concern and I need suggestions of what to do:

• She uses all the money I pay for our kids on drugs(all drunk confessions to me including a few of the below)
• He supplies the drugs
• He uses her home as drug safe
• He moved in just after 3 weeks of dating - alarm bell and it turns out he was couch-surfing beforehand as he is jobless.
• She has been using drugs along with her mother and step dad all this time and her BF provides them
• All her family hates me because I was the reason we divorced so anything I will try to bring up as a concern to them, they will say I am wrong and fight me tooth and nail.
• She has anxiety and depression and makes excuses for all this BS behaviour on this. I lived with her for 5 years and she never made such horrible decisions.
• I went into the home today after picking the kids from school as she had a medical appointment, first time going in since they got together, THE ENVIRONMENT is short of nothing but FILTH (days old bins, ben linen off the beds, no mattress covers, dirty dishes everywhere)
• I found out a month ago that my DD calls him step dad already and she saw nothing wrong with this(it's her choice apparently so she can't stop her)

WHAT DO I DO NEXT? WHAT IS MY NEXT MOVE! I have call off work all week as I type this to figure all this out and I went with the kids(who knows, she may call the police, I am not scared to tell them why) I have a full time job and I cannot see myself taking them full time but They need to be safe ASAP. We had 50/50 custody before but This stopped so i could manage my work promotion and support them (she cannot keep a full time job to save her life). I AM HEARTBROKEN because she has turned into everything she hated about her mother and she is somehow blaming me for how she has turned out becaused i divorced her 4 years ago. disclaimer: this is not about you lol

You will absolutely find a way to keep your kids with you and safe. Many of us work FT and look after our children. You will need childcare in place for after school, but that’s very doable. And in the short term, you’ll need some flexible working arrangements in place, so you can wfh more or work shorter days or make up time. Your dc’s stability and wellbeing is always more important than income. You can find ways to cut back, take a mortgage holiday, draw on savings, lots of things are possible. But keeping them safe is most important. You are their parent so they can be with you legally. School, social services and police in the morning. Make sure the school knows not to let her pick them up.

How this reads. "I love and want to protect my kids...oh wait but not enough to take care of them full time"

No, it reads 'I have no idea how I could manage to prevent them going to their mum's, nor afford to have them full time'

Kind posters have pointed OP in the right direction

It's quite difficult to pull kids away from their mother. Even if she is not coping and neglecting them, chances are she won't see it like that. And the children might be basically terrified to leave her with this guy and want to stay close where they can help her.

This sort of situation needs proper advice. And for all we know he could be in a one bedroom flat or staying at his friend's. It's not as easy as you think to remove children. For starters, she will probably be getting benefits for them and won't want to give these up.

Agree, Social Services. Also consult your lawyer.

I would have doubted your story a year ago but pretty much the same thing has happened with a young man we know through family. Formerly devoted dad, child resident in his home with weekly visits with mum (mum’s decision).
Met a younger woman and has descended into chaos, drink and drugs.

Thankfully, full custody has now been given to mum.

That’s exactly what you do! What do you think other working parents do? Having a FT job is zero excuse for not having your kids living with you.

Exactly this! If she was the best mother in the world and died what would this Dad do, put them up for adoption 🙈