Is it ok my husband still fancies despite my weight?

[VictorianLadyWannabe]

I became registered disabled back in April due to my weight and associated mobility issues. My BMI figures have classified as me as morbidly obese. I still work part time and my employer has been amazing ensuring everything is fully accessible for me.
I have a fab husband who helps me so much and I'd be lost without him. He is also very affectionate with me and insists that he still finds me very attractive. We haven't been that intimate for quite a few months and I would really like to start again, I think he would too. I just have this nagging doubt in my mind that he is just being kind and I don't want to embarrass myself or get upset if things don't work out.
I would really appreciate any thoughts and help people may have on this as it is causing me so much anxiety, thank you.

Is there any possibility of reducing his caring role so he starts to see you more as his wife and sexual partner, rather than someone he is caring for?

You receive disability benefit? Can you spend it on a bit of external help?

OP I think you just need to take the bull by the horns (so to speak!) and have a great time. I bet your husband will think all his christmases have come at once!

Are you getting help with living with lipoedema? You deserve help and support with managing that as well.

You might find if you are less dependent on him your confidence increases. Sex in unequal relationships can go wrong for this reason, caring for someone vulnerable might not make a person feel sexy.

We are looking at having a carer and have an appointment next Monday.
He does say that he enjoys looking after me but you make a really good point.

Thank you and that has made me smile (because I think you are right about his reaction! 🤣).
Not having specific help with the lipoedema and can be very painful on times .

Yes you are right, we are looking at external caring options at the moment. If I could get help washing and dressing in the morning and evenings that would be amazing. I'm determined to stay working for as long as I possibly can although it is becoming increasingly difficult.

In the 20 years ive been with my husband, ive been a size 10, and ive been up to a size 18, and its not made a jot of difference to his libido towards me.

Yr very lucky he tells you. Love him for it and tell him! I didn't get told and felt like shit after gaining a lot of weight due to meds, and illness plus grief.

Thank you and I tell him I love him all the time because I do.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you and will definitely take on board what you say xx

That's amazing and shows how people overcome things together with love. You sound like a fabulous husband.

Oh go away. This is relationships not AIBU.

You seem a really kind and considerate person!😳

I’m so sorry @VictorianLadyWannabe, that wasn’t aimed at you! Not a bit. I apologise completely for it being taken that way.

Yes it was aimed at the now-deleted post above mine from @Iamfree which was neither helpful nor considerate.

TBH, OP could have worded the thread title better.