How do I tell my siter 'NO' politely? <<sad>>

[Disenchanted]

I often have my nephew overnight for her, hes 1.

But I haven't had him for a while as Im having a rought time with my own 2 kids, 3 and 2 plus Ive got really bad morning sickness and am just exhausted all the time.

She lives with out mum and IMO has it cushy, 8 people in the house always watching the baby ect ...

Plus at the moment hes going through seperation anxiety phase and so cries alot.

Shes just TXT'd me to ask if I will ahve him overnight tomorrow so she can go on the piss.

Im just too tired

and TBH im quite and that she would ask me knowing how much I have got on my plate.

you text back "no, I'm too tired, any chance you can have mine for a couple of hours I feel really lousy"

"Really sorry, can't do tomorrow. Hope you find someone. See you soon xxxx"

She never has mine, I don't ask ANYONE to mind them both together as I think its too much to expect from someone.

"Sorry, have enough on my plate atm, can't mum/auntie/neighbour do it?"

Don't feel bad - sounds like you have a lot going on. Maybe she hasn't realised just HOW tired you are?

In fact I don't ask anyone to mind them ever seperatly or otherwise

well it's not and you should ask her to come over and watch them while you sleep

you are like me, always doing favours and getting embarrassed at the thought of people returning them

toughen up (talks to Disenchanted and self)

Just say no, you've got too much on, and leave it at that. I'm not surprised you're slightly

I have a friend who does this for her sisters even though she is a single parent with two of her own. She ended up collapsing a few months ago, and she still has their kids!

Lewis, she does know as she was round yesterday and spent an hour at mine whilst I was constantly vomiting and trying to control DS1 who I think may have behavioral issues

I would say it was time for an honest discussion with your sister!

Along the "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" line

Good advice from Twiglett. I've been rubbish about asking people to have mine despite helping other people. MIL died last week and the funeral is in Spain so I had to make arrangements (in the end FIL changed the funeral time so DH is going on his own but that is another story.

I found it really quite liberating to ask people to help out. Every one was more than prepared to and it made me realise I need to ask more often.

She owes you. She could watch all 3 at your house and let you have a soak in the bath and you two could have a glass of wine when all 3 are in bed.

Sorry to hear of your loss Chocolate.

If you have had your nephew before and haven't complained then I don't think she is unreasonable to ask if you'll have him again.

However, it would not be unreasonable for you to refuse....