Can’t stand my MIL

[Cram1208]

My husband and I have a great marriage. He is very supportive helpful with kids and just very caring. His mom on the other hand has caused problems. Started with her controlling our wedding. She wouldn’t let us get married when we wanted she also changed menu items we picked for our wedding. She also tried to take over when my husband had surgery. She wanted him to recover at her house. When me and my husband said no she then wanted to be at our house I said no. I am a stay at home mom and can handle it.
she has made very disrespectful comments to my husband about me as well. Our relationship is basically non existent. Because of all of this I do not let her see my kids with out me around. Since I have such distaste for her we do not see my in-laws a lot . My husband agrees that his mom was wrong a lot but thinks I’m wrong for keeping my kids away. I feel someone who clearly doesn’t like me shouldn’t be rewarded with grandparent time. My husband kind of stays out of it until his mom has complaints. This is probably the only. Thing me and him fight about. Is this a common issue?

I think you are right to keep your children away from her. If she says unpleasant things about you that are unwarranted, then she is an unpleasant person. Why would you want somebody like her around your children?

When somebody is unpleasant you aren’t depriving your children by keeping them away from them, you are protecting them. There are enough negative influences in the world, you don’t want to reinforce that by choosing to spend time with one of them. I don’t agree with the pp that “you will have explaining to do” when they are older. Comments like that are a manipulation tactic. Children need to know where they come from in terms of knowing both of their own parents (barring abusive situations) and siblings - nobody’s life is ruined by not knowing a toxic grandparent.

who made you god of your kids? your children made you mum, and they made them grandparents. you are not entitled to cut them off from their grandparents because you don’t like them?!! unless your kids are at risk of harm, you are actually being very unfair by not allowing them a relationship with their grandparents. like your kids are your children, they are someone else’s grandchildren. you have no right to cut that off. your husband should handle it and you shouldn’t put any boundaries because you are not entitled to do that to your kids.

I don't agree on letting her see the children because you don't get on.