Question re rings

[Aggie25]

I’m divorced and have been with my new partner for four years. It is a complex situation which I won’t get into but recently my teenage daughter came across my old engagement and wedding ring and asked if she could wear them. I hadn’t even known where they were but she found them in a spare bedroom while looking For something else. My partner is going absolutely crazy over this and not speaking to me because of it as he is so angry saying he will have to look at them all the time as a reminder of the past!!! They mean nothing to me obviously but they are my daughters style of jewellery and I thought sure why shouldn’t she wear them if it makes her happy. Can you give me your thoughts on this please as I’m feeling so upset and also angry at his behaviour. I am happy to talk to him about it but he is having none of it

It’s absolutely nothing to do with him. Bit of metal at end of day and be something way off if you can’t give them to your DD. Tell him to wind his neck in. Plus they say first comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring then the suffering… if he doesn’t get they mean nothing to you (even if they did he should deal with it) you aren’t as close as you think you are. It’s no big deal, let her have them and tell him to wheest. Big red flag 🚩 his OTT reaction.

He’s being a prick ,they are from your past .Why shouldn’t your daughter have them?

Your whole entire dd is a reminder you have a past!
Toss this one back op.

My thoughts are…who the fuck does he think he is?

And…what does it have to do with your boyfriend that a teenager wants her parents rings?

And…why does he think he can have a say in what your daughter wears?

And…leave the bastard.

Thanks for taking the time to reply guys. For now I’m chilling with a glass of wine and just staying out of his way cos he has pissed me off so much.

Has he been controlling before about other things?

He shouldn't be dictating what jewelry or anything about your daughter.

He knows you were married and divorced, what a weird overreaction. Sounds controlling.

This. He’s being completely ridiculous.

Reassess your relationship now and also think about what sort of stepfather he would be to your daughter.

His current silent treatment is a form of punishment stemming from emotional abuse. You have a choice re this man and your daughter does not. He’s not a prince amongst men.

@FortyElephants we have had spats in the past but not sure if I’d class it as controlling. He is usually very kind and loving

How can he be so insecure over a bit of old jewellery after four years together?
He sounds immature and a lot of hard work.

Silence is very controlling when he could just have a sensible conversation with you.

He’s just come in and given me a hug and apologised which I appreciate. We have had a traumatic enough past and start to our relationship but I feel happier that he has taken responsibility for his actions over the last few hours and apologised.
He has been an amazing step father to my kids over the years and a very good partner but I am going to look out for myself for a while and ensure this isn’t what my future is going to look like…..
thanks so much for all the messages. Sometimes it’s nice to get other perspectives as it can be difficult when you’re emotionally tied to someone x