Ldr.. Don't meet very often.. No intimacy this time :(

[Joanna806]

I (41f) am in an ldr with someone (m49) who lives about 3 hours away. We don't meet very often but when we do, everything is really good between us. We speak every day and no problems in the relationship.
We're together this weekend since Fri night to Monday afternoon and there's been no intimacy. I've tried to initiate twice but he's said he's tired both times.. We've not had a busy or strenuous weekend. We just went out for a meal last night and walk in local park.
I'm feeling bit rejected tbh. Due to distance and work commitments, I don't know when we'll get another chance. Is he going off me? We usually have great intimacy when we're together, this is a first that he's been too tired for it.

Has he had a lot going on that would make him more tired than usual?

You could say it would be good to plan another weekend soon as you like to be close to him. See how he reacts.

Do you usually rip each others clothes off as soon as you meet?
long distance relationships are hard as feels like a small window of opportunity to fit everything in ( no pun intended) but sex would be one of my priorities.

It sounds like it’s slipping into friendship only.

How often is ‘not very often’? Out of sight, out of mind?

Hope it's not slipping into "just friends"... He's had a lot on recently with a sick parent (elderly and dependent on him as the only child to a certain extent), and some stress at work. No issues between us as a couple and, as far as I can tell, he loves me just as much as ever. The only difference is the lack of physical intimacy this weekend. We'd go to bed at night and he'd been straight off to sleep after saying goodnight and a cuddle.

So how long have you been together? How often do you meet?

As there are reasons why he might be worn out and maybe even physically run down (stres does that to me) I don’t think there’s much else you can say for now. These feel so much worse in a LDR because in a couple of days he might feel fine. I don’t have to tell you that I know. Just put your concerns on the back burner for a while and see how long it takes him to arrange to see you again, how keen he is

I wouldn't like this. I'm in a similar relationship and we saw each other this weekend and had sex a lot. We always do. We are cramming it into a short window really. How long have you been together?

Is there any chance he’s started on antidepressants recently? They have a big impact on sex drive and men’s ability to ejaculate.
I know what you mean in that I’m in a LDR and we always have sex during the time we are together and I’d think it odd if he refused all advances.. since you tried being subtle and got the ‘I’m tired’ response, can’t you just ask him directly?

How long have you been in a relationship for?
How regularly do you see each other?
How is communication generally?
You said there was no intimacy - do you mean no sex, or was there no other kind of affection such as kissing or cuddling or touching at all - was this also different from usual?
It does sound as if he is tired if he immediately went to sleep and it seems as if he has had a lot going on as well, does he talk to you about things and open up?

Long distance can be really tough on both of you. Can you try and plan to see him again soon, even to meet somewhere halfway between both of you?