No contact

[Lovetocook49]

How many people have a son or daughter they no longer communicate with for whatever reason ?

How do you deal with it mentally? Been 18 months and I am struggling.

Reconnecting not possible.

I would get some therapy so you can find some closure and accountability for any parts you played in the relationship breaking down. And I would focus on building what life will look like going forward now that family is not like what you expected it would be.

In my case, I am the adult child who went NC with my mum, though not because I wanted to but because I had to. She facilitated a convicted paedophile to access my children, even while knowing he was abusing other children (she facilitated that too, was his ‘cover’ so to speak), and when we found out and stopped her having contact with with our children, she went around spreading horrible rumours about Dh and I as a bit of a false flag (basically so anyone would think we were bonkers if we said why we really stopped her seeing her grandchildren). Before this happened, she had her issues, but she was generally a loving mum and involved grandmother, who was groomed by a man and just went off the rails.

Anyway, what’s been powerful for me to come to accept is that I can’t control anyone but myself. I can work on myself only. I can ask her to change things (she won’t), but I can’t make her. In the years since, I’ve done a lot of work on myself. I’ve been to therapy, which was really beneficial. And I’ve focused on the life and family I do have. I never thought my mum would torch our relationship and betray her grandchildren the way she has. Never in a million years would I have believed it. But there is no going back only forward. I’ve built a life I’m proud of. I have good values. I am very loved and have a full life. I’ve focused on that and not dwelling on how wrong and unfair it all is.