Moving on after separation/divorce - any happy stories?

[Teaformetoo]

Have been following lots of the threads here and on divorce/separation board about the breakdown of long marriages and how awful it is. Am really in need of some good news stories, Does it get better, do you move on? feel happiness? find love? Could do with some positive stories as I start applying for my divorce.

I’m a million times happier and it wasn’t even my decision to split

Split from XH 3 1/2 years ago, after 15 years together. First six months were really rough, learning how to ‘adult’ alone, managing finances. He initially said he’d still help me with the house and things but let me down massively and I realised I had to stop relying on him. I’ve done many things to make my life better. I’ve got promoted and work better hours (previously doing shifts). Got into a routine with DD and keep on top of things. Met a lovely fella about a year after I separated (he was in a similar position). I’d love to move in together at some point but we don’t want to blend families while the DC are young. We have loads of fun on weekends when our DC are with their other parents and occasionally meet with the DC.
I am so much happier than I could have imagined.

I’m much happier and I’ve got it non-easy (am a lone parent, ex toxic and has abandoned the kids, we weren’t rich etc).

I choose my own way, have met someone new, and am authentically me.

I found that getting divorced was hard. BEING divorced, however, is absolutely lovely. Eyes on the prize, sending strength x

PS And I’d been married over thirty years!

I can honestly say that, although divorce itself is awful as other PP have said, being divorced is utterly wonderfully fantastic.

Oh god, I actually danced out of the solicitors after completing my divorce paperwork. Life is a million times better. I'm me, not some nervous worried shell of a person. I'm more confident, my self esteem has improved and there's no negative voice telling me how rubbish I am.

Had a few fun relationships afterwards, then met DH and am very happily married.

Broke up with my exh of 20 years in 2014. Met my current dp in 2017. My life has changed totally, not everything is perfect but I am a lot happier all round.
Even when I was single and recovering from exh's shit, I found it easier to deal with problems than when I was married to someone who was either not around to support me, or who was inconsiderate and undermined me.
Now I have a considerate partner who understands and supports me, and who appreciates what I do for him. If I'd stayed with exh I would have missed out on this.

I’m currently cohabiting with my husband as we navigate our way through this divorce. It’s NOT for the faint hearted and when I leave I will be a single parent. I’m glad someone has asked this question because I often think the same - minus a new relationship. All I feel is stress and emotional turmoil. I’m 81/2 months in and look forward to the day I can write my happy story xx

Yes! Left my first husband, after 20 years together. Found out he had been cheating on me, for almost the entirety of our marriage (several OW). It left me me with huge trust issues. But, 2 months after I left him, I met my DH. It took a while to let my guard down, but I'm so glad I did. Been together for 17 years now, and very happy. We are in our 50's now, and have some lovely plans for retirement. Cannot imagine doing this with anyone else. I can't even remember what I liked about husband no1. Good luck!

Its so nice to hear lovely stories.

@Teaformetoo i think you'll find that even if it's tough and difficult it will be far better than the life you currently lead.
I'm not going to pretend I am happy and content, I've not met someone else yet, and sometimes, things are really bloody hard emotionally. But, I never for one single second regret the choice I made divorcing my ex. Even if I had the ability to look forward and see what I'd be going through over 2 years down the line, I'd still make that same choice.
That's what you have to focus on.

Joining in.l for a bit of a whinge. 5 months in and feeling so miserable this Father’s Day. Youngest did a reading at church about how wonderful fathers are this morning. I could barely keep my eyes dry. He did great though. His father is off sailing probably doesn’t even know it’s Father’s Day.

Thank you so much for your replies, I really needed to hear those positive stories today. I’m almost 5 months into separation and so emotional - literally can be sat somewhere, anywhere and the tears start falling and I have to quickly hide them from other people, or my children. I just need to know that things will eventually feel better than they do now.

You will get there and look back at this time and be glad you are out of it. It's a process. I remember the uncontrollable crying too. Took me 18 months to go through all the ups and downs but 3 years later I'm happier than ever. The kids are settled, the house is calm, I have a wonderful partner and the most supportive friends. My ex isn't an awful person but was not a good husband and if I could have left sooner I would.

Split a few years ago when I found he was cheating. Married 25 years from too young. Divorce was unpleasant and very expensive (I’m the one with a decent job and assets). It was a very difficult time, but defo worth it. I do think you need to grieve for the future you thought you would have, and indeed the man you thought you married (as opposed to the one you actually married). I’m much happier now. I do feel like I was brain washed, gaslit, and generally treated disrespectfully for years and that takes time to get over. However I am now much happier, healthier, and in another much healthier relationship too.

You will have your happy story, even though it may not feel that now. Happiness will come in a small moment, when you're sitting having a cup of tea or when you get home to a peaceful house when you suddenly realise where you are and how far you have come.
I left a 20 year marriage nearly 5 years ago. I am contented. I met a wonderful new partner about 18 months ago, just chatting to a stranger in real life.
Divorce can be wonderful but getting through it requires digging deep. Like Purplecat , it was also very expensive as I was the earner but it was worth it.
I am still friendly with my XH, which was so important for me as a child of a tough 1980's angry parental divorce
I hope you have your happy story too