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Questioning myself

5 replies

Continuouslyunclear · 14/06/2025 23:25

When I was really young I always thought I was straight I didnt really know any other, I had a few females older than myself that I was quite fond of but always thought of it as admiration of sorts. I got to around 18 and I started to think otherwise and for a while thought I was a lesbian, I was in a relationship with a girl and as feelings faded i found myself only really attracted to males and didnt really think too much of it but over the last few years Ive been questioning what I am as Ive beeb attracted to one or two females and thought of sex with another female a lot. But ive mostly been attracted to men. It seems only a very specific type of girl is what Im attracted to. It has been well over 10 years since Ive been involved with a female but also cant see myself building a life with a female, granted i havent met any lesbians/bi people to know if feelings in that way would develop to change that view but i think its unhelped by my family showing a dislike to gay people and others close to me not accepting of that kind of thing. Ive always imagined meeting a man settling down marrying and having children and i now have a child and cant imagine a life like that with a female. So im extremely confused over it all...Am I straight or bi but with a very specific type? Safe to say im confused. Advice welcome...

OP posts:
itsnotalwaysthateasy · 15/06/2025 00:10

You really don't have to label yourself. You just have to be happy in whatever you are doing or who you are with.
Please stop worrying, just go with the flow.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 01:43

Love is love. Don't overthink it. If you meet a woman and find her attractive, go with the flow.

Btowngirl · 15/06/2025 05:56

Similarly to you, I grew up with boyfriends and a view of how my life was going to look. Unlike you, I didn’t really think of girls like that, but I did have that admiration thing for a few females in my life. When I was 24 I met a girl and ended up getting with her and honestly it changed my life. I’ve got a wife and children now and life is amazing! I still struggle with the label side, in terms of I’m not sure it resonates with me to say I am a lesbian tbh (which really throws people off when I am married to a woman..) but I really don’t think it matters nowadays, you can just meet people and if you like someone you like them and can pursue it if they’re also interested. Good luck op, not sure where you live but if you want to explore I’d recommend going and hanging out in some known gay friendly areas to get a feel for the community/see if you meet someone.

StarlightLady · 15/06/2025 06:12

I discovered my bi side in my early 30s; l’m in my 40s now. I rather someone helped me realise it. Looking back it was there all the time. These days l merely see myself as “sexual”. No prefix required.

Continuouslyunclear · 17/06/2025 22:03

Thankyou all :) It's been a few years that this has been playing on my mind. It's nice to have the advice and experience of it.

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