Break up advice please

[LuckyLinda3]

So after 16 or so months together I ended things three weeks ago because of limited and inconsistent time together and I saw the beginning of disrespectful behaviour creeping in. Previously I had wasted years in a relationship believing in the "potential" of what we could be which never materialised so I was aware I didn't want to do that again.
I love him and so many aspects of our relationship were great but I felt he prioritised his hobbies and friends over us too often.
He has been in contact a few times since updating me on a friend of ours (I met through him) who is very unwell at the minute. Then last Friday he messaged saying he loves me and misses me. I acknowledged his feelings but didn't go into anything more over text.
I am really missing him and would like nothing more than for him to engage but I realise words mean nothing.
Tomorrow is Father's Day and his birthday is soon, do I text or is it better to just leave things as they are now. Thanks.

It's sad that this friend is unwell but nothing has changed in your relationship for you to question the original decision: the reasons you broke up will still be there if you get back together

My advice would be to remember why you broke up in the first place. Going back on that decision is going to create a lot more mess in your life than you really need.

I think you should let him go and focus on yourself without him

Well ask him eye to eye if you were to get back together what would that look like to him time wise etc

Thanks @Thatsthebottomline and @Fluffypotatoe123987
I agree, nothing has changed and that's why I didn't pursue the text conversation when he said he loved and missed me
That said if he had texted asking to meet I probably would have too
I think deep down I was hoping he would take time and reflect on what we had but I also understand I dumped him and he is fully entitled to move on

Actions speak louder than words here. If he wanted to change your mind about the break up and win you back, he would be showing you how he can address the issues that led to the break up and proving he can work on himself and improve the relationship.

A Friday night love you/miss you text is just a lazy way to try and guilt you back without putting the effort in to make any changes.

Looks like you made the right decision so stay strong, don’t communicate with him unless absolutely necessary and move on.

@Lmnop22 thank you
Yes I'm aware I didn't do this in the past in another relationship so I'm very aware I don't waste my time again
I'm 49 and I want to have a relationship both parties invest in

You sound like a very strong person and I have absolutely faith that you’re doing the right thing, for the right reasons and keeping your bar nice and high which is great to see!

Leave things OP, hard as it is to do.

@Lmnop22 aw thank you. I wasn't strong in the past and it cost me dearly so I'm actively trying to do better for myself now
Thanks @Greenfitflop, it's good to hear other opinions