Just wanted to unload really as feeling at a low point with loneliness.
I've posted a fair few times across different chats so some of you probably know a lot of the story so I'll keep it short.
Separated 2½ years ago after ex had a one off fling with a colleague around 7 years before and I finally plucked up the courage to make my exit. It was the right choice and I in no way regret the decision. We were ruined for the last 7 years of our relationship and probably had sex on average once or twice a year. I was never satisfied from it during the entirety.
The whole relationship, 16 years, was built on poor foundations due to prior potential infidelity so my level of self worth has taken a lot to build and I'm proud I got to where I am.
Well single life has been tough and I go through swells of reminding myself that I am awesome, enjoying the message exchanges, the potential of what might come and believing some day ill meet someone who sees it. And the other side is the utter crushing moments where you go months and months without any form of physical touch.
It's been a killer this week after having a one night stand with a guy last weekend. I think id got used to not feeling another person against my skin and although it was regularly an emotional thought that I tried to brush off, I think that one moment of contact has reminded me what I crave and now I'm back to nothing.
No slant on him, it was never going to be a thing and I don't regret the choice and he didn't sell me some idea that it wasn't exactly what it was.
It had been 7 months since my last and the idea of waiting another 7 months feels like a killer.
I have friends, I go for coffees, meals out, films, but it's in no way the same as the physical contact from a partner especially as I'm craving something I don't think i ever even had with my ex.
How do I combat these pits and get myself back in those happy places.