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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Coming clean about past

3 replies

Mytyfy · 14/06/2025 10:59

I have a bit of a dilemma and need to get it off my chest.
I’ve recently started seeing someone I had known for a while (we have some shared friends so sometimes saw each other). It’s early on and I’m a bit head over heels if I’m honest.
I have some baggage that might really change the way he sees me (I used to do sex work some years ago and I’m not proud of it). I don’t want to keep this from him for several reasons but I’m also freaking out about his reaction and potentially getting humiliated.

I’m not even sure if we will work out long term but I think he should know in case it is a deal breaker for him. We are quite different in many ways and he could probably find someone who is much more on his level but I do really like him and don’t want to ruin this.
I decided to just tell him today but now I’m freaking out and having second thoughts and I could do with some encouragement.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 14/06/2025 11:05

I would go for it & tell him OP. Try to see it as a positive either way, if it does bother him and he doesn’t want to continue then it’s better to know that now rather than waste any more time or energy on something that could never work anyway.

Koazy · 14/06/2025 11:07

I understand being reluctant but I would tell him in case it’s a deal breaker and you fall even harder.

okydokethen · 14/06/2025 11:14

I think it brilliant you’re going to tell him.
If the relationship works out, it’s based on honesty and you’ll have no fear about it being a secret.
If it doesn’t work out, you know you haven’t hid anything and you’ve been respectful to his views.

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