Logistics of separating with small dc

[Oneestepforward]

I can’t believe it’s come to this but I can’t see a way forward. We have 3 young dc and I’m about to go through a termination at 15 weeks of an unplanned dc because he doesn’t want to continue (which I understand is fair).

I don’t want to break up my dc’s lives, but it seems that is the only way forward.

We live in an expensive area in the SE. My family live 2 hours further north, and his live 3 hours in the opposite direction. I would want to move towards mine (to afford life and for support), but how can this work. Presumably he will move to his family, and I feel immense guilt at the thought of our dc spending so much time driving between their parents houses.

Any guidance from people who have been through this to make it as painfree as possible?

It is painful and is hard but it does settle once people pick up the threads of their new lives .
I think it’s worse to keep trying with a relationship that has run its course .
how do you feel about the termination ? It’s not his choice in the end .

I have thought a lot about separating and doing it alone, but think it would be to the detriment of my other dc. I feel devastated to be in this situation.

I hope things will settle and they settle into a new life/ routine but they guilt of uprooting them is strong.