Ghosting by potential friends

[Sunshine386]

Does anyone else struggle to make new friends in their 30s? I do have friends but they are so busy and don't have much time to meet, but it seems like everyone you meet who could become a friend is also busy. Earlier in the year I had a couple of nights out with some new potential friends I met and I thought it might lead to more meeting up, but replies have dwindled and they eventually disappeared. I would feel embarrassed getting in touch again as it feels like a hint, but it's also made me lose confidence trying to make new friends.

Same happens to me. New Mum, new home and I keep being left out in the mum groups at play group snd aoft play. I make a massive effort to socialize in gave my number and told they would be in touch for play dates and when they all meet up. Never heard from them again and when I see them at groups etc all civil but nothing. I made a new friend after a few park visits and the Mums son is the same age as my oldest DS exchanged numbers and messaged a few times but nothing has happened. We always see each other it groups and park. But when I message about a play date somewhere neutral or even my home she ghosts me. Measages blue ticked and no response. But then when I see her face to face she doea the most. It is very conflicting. Always end the meeting "oh lets organise something for the kids". 😖
It is upsetting as all the new mums are in groups and at least have 1 other Mum they socialize and organise for meet ups. And I am always alone. My children have no friends either. I feel awful for them. I try to connect with parents with similar aged children. I am the only one who is BAME and wonder if that is the reason......

I think this is normal. I struggle to find time (and crucially energy) to meet up with established friends. I definitely don't have the energy to maintain and invest in fledgling friendships. That doesn't mean I don't like the people I chat to in the park etc and I'm happy to socialise with them there, I'm just not invested enough to be proactive after that. I wouldn't ghost someone though, unless they were particularly persistent.

I think 30’s is a difficult age to meet up as many have children etc. Can you join some clubs? I’m in a walking group and it’s all local ladies and has branched out into so many other things, theatre trips, afternoon tea, coastal days out, many pub trips, lunches etc. Many of the ladies have said that it’s changed their life for the better as they had few local friends before then. Put yourself out there a bit and friendships will hopefully follow.