When did you start dating after separation/divorce?

[wheresmymojo]

I separated from my husband about 8 weeks ago…it was my choice and had been coming for a long time from my perspective so I don’t have any residual feelings to untangle (they died long ago!).

I don’t feel like I have much emotional baggage from the relationship or (ongoing) divorce, however we’re still living under the same roof at least for the next couple of months.

Part of me thinks I’m not ready to date again, part of me feels ready to find a new connection because it’s been so long since I felt that connection with my husband.

I think I’m both happy being single and would like to find a new relationship (as opposed to it being an either/or choice).

I wondered when other people first started dating after separation / divorce and what advice you’d have for someone else?

I think he needs to be out of the house.
I am now dating about six months after he moved out.

I would probably wait until he's moved out however it's up to you really.. is there any reason he's not moving out asap?

DB is already dating part way through his divorce, although I suspect his partner has been around for a while and was a factor in the divorce.

SIL told him to leave the house and then he started openly seeing the new partner. Photos all over his fb page too

At the very least I’d wait until you were living alone. But once the relationship is over there is no wrong time if you don’t have kids

I wish he would move out!

He’s looking at moving into some new build flats around the corner (and I’m fine with that, it’s all very amicable other than him still being in love with me unfortunately). The flats are, in theory, going to be ready in a month although they keep getting dragged out, which isn’t his fault but very frustrating.

No kids involved.

100% i’d wait until he has moved out. It’s still early days with the official split, so I get you might feel ready to move on, but i’d at the very minimal, make sure that he has moved out before you start dating.

Why is it on him more than her to move out?

I started dating again almost as soon as I decided it was over. After a 13 year marriage.

I deeply regret that decision actually. At the time I didn’t feel like I had to mourn the relationship, because I was so done with it. But in hindsight I do wish I’d given myself a year or so.

Two weeks after I walked out (had him served that morning, decree absolute 8 months later).

Short marriage though and, like you, feelings had died aaaaaages ago.

I get what you’re saying as no-one on the thread has the context I’m about to share but in reality it’s on him as I can afford the house on my own and he can’t.

18 months/2 years after the decision to divorce, about 6 months after we both moved out. I did not plan it and I was definitely not looking for a relationship.
He is still waiting for me to ‘come to my senses’ and go back to him. I’m still with the man I first went out with after divorce, it’s been 9 years (on and off) now.

My ex H cheated on me on the Friday, moved out 3 days later.
I met someone on the Tuesday, got drunk and snogged him (I was young!)
Married him as soon as divorce finalised and been married to him for more than 20 years

I waited 4 years, but my ex had numerous affairs, was controlling and made me feel worthless...I needed to be happy as me first 😊 but I think whatever is right for you.

If no kids involved and it all takes place OUT of the house, then dating is fine I think.

I would hurry that divorce along, though!

Only you can know as each situation is different. If you can wait until you are in a place alone then that is an easier set up. No awkward conversations, trying to keep secrets, having to find hotels to meet.
I started dated around 9 months after we separated, but we were living together for 18 months in total. He was on dating apps before I was in fact.

I think the bigger point is if you are ready to deal with dating. It's not an easy experience, you need thick skin and to be confident in yourself and your worth because there is the potential to connect with people who can really harm your outlook.
I'll be honest, I thought I'd have a partner or be regularly dating at this point (2½ years on) as I think I'm pretty alright on the whole. But it hasn't happened and consistently putting yourself out there is relentless and can be quite emotional.

Sounds like a twist on Craig David’s Seven Days!

A decade ago now, but I was leaving ex because he cheated. He actually said being with another woman for sex wasn’t the same as being with me for love 🤨….so I decided to test that theory for myself.

I started seeing another guy when I was still in the house. I then moved out and continued to see others as and when. My current DH was one of those just another date guys I met 8 months after I moved out. I was looking for payback and then realised I enjoyed and then found my OH.

Time is not a thing, how you feel is what matters.

I dated someone about 6 months after we separated but that was only a few weeks ago- he was also getting divorced and there was too much going on for both of us.

I then met someone 13 months after the separation and dated for 2 years - biggest. Mistake of my life. Honestly? I wouldn’t have touched him with a bargepole had I been in a better headspace and tbh it’s put me off of getting involved again

Been single 5 years now and very content on my own

It was over a year but 2 small children and some healing to do.
I don't bother looking any more. So much hard work on apps and that. When someone flirts with me irl then I'm open to it but realised that i don't want a partner

I think you have to wait until he’s out of the house, especially If he’s still in love with you. He’s not going to take to kindly to seeing you out your best dress on and then knowing your new beau is probably ploughing your furrow !