Do you believe in "when you know, you know"?

babystarsandmoon · 13/06/2025 08:01

Yes! When I met my boyfriend I knew and he said the same thing. We had an instant bond like no other.

PopThatBench · 13/06/2025 08:05

My now DP was supposed to be a FWB. I was selectively single for 6 years and fancied “something”. I’ve never felt so comfortable around somebody before, I just felt at home when he came round.
I tried calling it off when I started getting feelings but he admitted he also felt the same so we continued and years later I’m now 35 weeks pregnant 😂 my first attempt at FWB and we’re going strong!

One thing I will say is stand your ground, don’t lose yourself in your feelings. “Go with it” but assess your situation with a clear head to make sure there’s no unwanted behaviour you’re just “accepting” because you like him x

Shallysally · 13/06/2025 08:06

I didn’t believe in it until 18ish months ago! Was very happy being single.
Then a kind, lovely man came very unexpectedly into my life. And here we are, recently engaged, planning our wedding!

I have never felt this way about any man before. With previous relationships, there has always been that doubt there, with good reason as it turned out.
But I’ve never needed to question anything, never have I wondered if I’m doing the right thing.

Enjoy your new relationship OP, really hope things continue to go well!

Yogabearmous · 13/06/2025 08:07

Yes. The day I met my DH, I just knew he was for me. Years later we talked about the day we met and he said the same thing.

NewspaperChips · 14/06/2025 15:30

I didn’t realise it at the time, but subconsciously I must have known DP was the one (I deleted all OLD apps after our first date back in 2016).

Having said that, I thought a colleague I worked with back in the early 2000s was “the one” despite nothing happening at the time. 20 years later, they admitted they thought the same about me. Both happily with our respective partners now, but on hot summer days, I do indulge in a little “what if” about ex-colleague…

Mathsbabe · 14/06/2025 19:00

Yep. Knew him vaguely in September. Had a first date in December. I knew he was the one, three weeks later he proposed, eight months late we got married, 45 years married in August

obsessedwithfreshbread · 14/06/2025 19:09

Absolutely we were inseparable from the day we met, apart from nights he had his DC or we saw friends moved in together after 6 months and we’re happier than ever 8 years later, and I have an amazing relationship with my DSC.
He really is the other half of me

Belladog1 · 14/06/2025 19:11

Yes. Met him online in April '24, and i felt instantly that he was the one ..... and luckily he felt the same way.

I adore that man 🥰

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 14/06/2025 19:12

I knew within a week I would marry dh. Previously he had been a total stranger..

Beansandneedles · 14/06/2025 19:18

When I met DH it was like a gong went off. I was enjoying dating, being solo but meeting people etc, wasn't really 'looking' but I met him and I was thrown. Wasn't really bothered about marriage and kids at all. I remember going back to my housemates and saying 'i think I've met my husband'. They responded 'but you don't want a husband?!!' 🤣

Had several friends bully me into going on the second date, because it felt like I was committing to something massive just by showing up. 9 years later and we have two small children and a mortgage and all the things!

Game0fCrones · 14/06/2025 19:18

Never.

Loads of boyfriends, live in partners and one fiancé and cant say I ever thought any of them were 'the one.' The fiancé made a public proposal so i had to accept. Called it off quietly a few weeks later.

Ratisshortforratthew · 14/06/2025 19:49

No I don’t. I’m in a very happy relationship with someone who shares my values, goals and outlook and it’s pretty perfect but I think there are probably thousands of other people in the world who I’d similarly fit with and be very happy with, I just haven’t met them!

Sjb85 · 15/06/2025 15:07

I never thought it was true until I met my partner.

We matched OLD, sent literally 4 messages back and forth and he asked to meet the same evening.
I know it was absolutely insane to agree but something in my gut told me to go for it.

The minute we met we both just knew it was 100% right. Have been inseperable since.

Beanfry · 16/06/2025 06:25

My ex partner said these exact works to me. He pushed for us to move in together, tie our finances, get engaged (which I put him off as was too soon). He left a few weeks ago. So sadly for me, they were just words.

Sevenamcoffee · 16/06/2025 06:29

Not really OP as I’m old and cynical. I hope it works out for you though.

crossstitchingnana · 16/06/2025 06:32

Yes. Been together 35 years now.

Handmethegunandaskmeagain · 16/06/2025 07:23

its funny isn’t it. I met one long term DP and it was like lightning. He said he felt the same. We were living together within 6 months and he felt like the person I would be with forever, pretty much from the word go.

Turns out he was an abusive arsehole and I eventually left. I don’t really trust that “when you know he’s the one” feeling. I had a slow build with current DP and I remember a moment when I looked at him and thought he was genuinely an amazing human being and I wanted to be with him forever, but he’d shown me that over time with consistent love and respect.

There will be lots of confirmation bias on threads like this one, where very happy couples in great relationships knew their partner was the one, but equally I’m sure many people feel that way at the start of relationships that don’t work out but they reframe it in their head after the breakup.

Not trying to rain on any parades by the way: delighted for everyone with their positive stories about this!

Beansandneedles · 16/06/2025 08:42

Handmethegunandaskmeagain · 16/06/2025 07:23

its funny isn’t it. I met one long term DP and it was like lightning. He said he felt the same. We were living together within 6 months and he felt like the person I would be with forever, pretty much from the word go.

Turns out he was an abusive arsehole and I eventually left. I don’t really trust that “when you know he’s the one” feeling. I had a slow build with current DP and I remember a moment when I looked at him and thought he was genuinely an amazing human being and I wanted to be with him forever, but he’d shown me that over time with consistent love and respect.

There will be lots of confirmation bias on threads like this one, where very happy couples in great relationships knew their partner was the one, but equally I’m sure many people feel that way at the start of relationships that don’t work out but they reframe it in their head after the breakup.

Not trying to rain on any parades by the way: delighted for everyone with their positive stories about this!

Edited

I think this is a very wise and balanced post. I had the lightning moment as I mentioned with DH above. I don't think I'd be where I am with anyone else, however I also think I could have met someone else and therefore been somewhere else doing something else and that would have also been fine.

I sometimes ponder if the gong going off (or lighting as you said) may have been hormones signalling genetic compatibility or something on a subconscious level that I couldn't pretend to understand. For some people that then works out into a long and loving relationship and all is well, others muddle through and thats fine too, others it doesn't turn out so great.

For me it was like being under a spell. I went from being happily single, travelling around with no desire to settle down and have kids, to meeting this man and becoming a wife and mother of two in a very short space of time. I was all caught up in this bubble of loveliness. DH is a goodun, and if all this was going to happen then I'm generally glad it was with him, however if the gong had gone off for someone who didn't want kids and we'd ended up running a dive school somewhere exotic or something (which is where I was headed before this) I think that would have also been fine. Sometimes I still look around and wonder what on earth happened 😂

Thepossibility · 16/06/2025 17:58

With my DH it wasn't the hormone rush of love at first sight. It was very quickly- this man is my family. We were obviously going to get married and stay together til death which was shocking because I was an independent 19 year old at the time! I knew he wasn't going anywhere.
All my friends that were all over each other in passionate love have ended up divorced.

user2848502016 · 16/06/2025 18:18

Yes I did, I don’t believe in love at first sight or that in soulmates, but when I met DH I felt after about 2-3 dates that this was going to be long term and this was someone I could end up with. I hadn’t felt like that before even though I had had a couple of previous long term relationships

Screamingabdabz · 16/06/2025 18:20

As soon as I met my DH I knew. We’ve been married over 30 years and still going strong.

Absentmindedsmile · 16/06/2025 18:26

LisaVanderpump1 · 13/06/2025 08:00

Met someone recently and I've never felt like this about someone and he says the same. I was genuinely starting to think that I might not meet anyone and was really considering how to navigate life perpetually single.

Do you believe in the adage "when you know, you know"? Have you thought this about someone and been proved right (or wrong!)? Would love to hear your stories on this gloomy Friday 13th!

Yes. When you know you know. If you don’t know, you don’t know. It’s 💯 true.

MollyRedSkirtsChandler · 16/06/2025 18:30

Only if the 'you knowing' turned out to be right. Lots of people say they know, then realise they were wrong.

Amazing, and pretty wonderful, when that 'initial spark' turns into 'something lasting'. But you can get either one of those things without the other.

princesspadam · 16/06/2025 18:45

Absolutely!!!!
I went out with DP, he was supposed to be a ONS, but something he said on our first date made me think omg you are my person

seanconneryseyebrow · 16/06/2025 19:49

Omg this is good timing.
i spoke on and off to someone online for a year. We’ve been proper dating for a month and I’m absolutely smitten. He thought I didn’t like him on the first date (he made me nervous - he still does but Ina good way!)
anyway I was instantly attracted and liked him - but in the second date we had a kiss that was soooo intense I have never had one like it and I felt ALL the feels. We’ve been going strong ever since and can’t get enough of each other. So yeh I try inn you can feel intensely about someone super quick. Just try and keep your wits about you and don’t see things that aren’t there as you get swept up in it all (I must take my own advice here). It’s lovely really be into someone hey. I’m thoroughly enjoying it