Married but questioning sexuality

[ThatSereneHare]

Hi
I've been married for 15 years to a man, but recently feel like I have realised that I am gay, am constantly questioning my sexuality and am feeling so disconnected from my hubby.
Just wanting to see if there is anyone else going through/ gone through the same thing?
In all other aspects marriage is fantastic, he is a great man but I can't switch off the feelings that I'm having towards women.
Any advice would be appreciated

Surprisingly common. I’ve posted about it before. My decades heterosexual relationship ended in my mid 40s, I came out. I’d know since I was 40 my sexuality had shifted. I’ve been in a same sex relationship for more than 4 years. I won’t romanticise it, women are as complex as men, but on a visceral level it is right and I am happier. Late bloomer lesbians on Reddit is a good forum.

The difference for me is that my heterosexual relationship had become very unhappy for different reasons. I’ll never know what I would have done had it been happy.

I dunno. It's getting more common now for women to question and ponder over whether they find women sexually alluring as well as men. I think sexuality, like many things, Is on a spectrum, many people will probably fall just outside the 100% straight line, but not enough to explore it or label themselves anything other than heterosexual.

Women are gorgeous. I'm heterosexual. But I can see objectively that women's bodies and faces are more attractive to look at than mens. But it's an objective observation. I can't ever imagine falling in love with a woman or staring into their eyes all night, desperate to have sex with them. Yet I could imagine that with a man.

You may well be a late bloomer, but just make sure that it indeed your true self and not a moment of too much pondering. Because you will uproot your life and that of your children if you have any.

Hi OP. I started a thread with pretty much the exact same situation, and I’ve been checking MN periodically to see if anyone is in the same boat.

Here’s my thread from a few months ago. I am still wrangling an internal battle and don’t know how to move forward.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5257713-should-i-end-my-marriage-my-bi-curiosity-is-eating-me-alive

Another post to say, I don’t think I’m gay, I still am attracted to men, so perhaps we’re not quite in the same boat as I have accepted I’m bi. If you don’t feel attracted to your husband anymore in a romantic/sexual way because he’s a man, not for any other reason, and you’ve come to the realisation you’re gay, then it might be time to communicate with your husband and take the bold move of seeking a more authentic life. If you don’t feel attracted to men anymore you owe your husband the truth, before another 15 years pass by. I am still figuring out how I move forward in my situation.