My bf has had way more experience than me

[SenseChecking]

We've been together a couple of years now. I've always known he's had more sexual partners than me but last night another conversation alluded to a time when there was a new woman each night and multiple girlfriends at the same time.

I know it is his past. I know it doesn't mean anything now. But I just feel something about it but I'm not entirely sure what. I feel hurt almost, but I don't think it is jealousy as such, more like I'm not adequate enough. I've had 5 sexual partners, that's it.

I haven't said anything to him and I wouldn't as it is in the past but I can't help but think why would he want me.

How do the conversations about his previous sex life come up OP?
Why is he sharing this information with you?

I don’t understand why him having had lots of partners would mean he wouldn’t want you, it doesn’t make sense.
Either he’s calmed down and wants a permanent relationship, or he’s still living his old way and cheating on you. And I think that’s the problem here, you’ll never be able to fully trust him.

Tell him how that convo made you feel.

The conversation came up as we were talking about a job he used to have where there was shared accomodation with men and women and everything that went along with that.

The issue is I can't say how I feel as I'm not sure what I'm feeling myself. And realistically he can't change the past just as much as I can't. There are things I've done I'd never want to discuss with him.

I've never asked a partner about their previous sex life as I've never felt it was any of my business and I would be annoyed if they kept 'alluding' to it.

His past would concern me because he sounds like a misogynist who sees women as a series of holes. He had multiple girlfriends and cheated on them all with ONS? Unless he was ethically non monogamous he sounds like a sleaze incapable of treating people with respect.

I hope you've had him tested as he sounds like a veritable petri dish of disease.

That's the thing. I don't ever bring it up. The father of my son used to almost compare me to others and that's done a whole heap of damage to my self esteem. I don't talk about my past as I'm not proud of some of it.

I'm not sure about if these were proper girlfriends or dating multiple women etc. I didn't really want to ask any questions.

Yes been tested.

Multiple girlfriends? Unless they all knew about each other, that’s what I’d be most concerned about. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is how he treats others and if he’s capable of being respectful towards women.

You should not be ashamed of your past and for me I knew i was with the right partner because I could tell them anything about my past without judgement

you need a conversation about your boundaries in this relationship, spell out what you consider cheating and that it will not be tolerated , your self esteem will take a while to recover as it’s taken beating

I take it they didn't all know about each other. This happened years ago though so I don't know. For him the passage of time probably makes it almost a fond memory of his. Maybe I'm just not the audience for it.

I think the issue with this isn’t really about him being ‘more experienced’ than you. I’ve been with my DP 2 1/2 years. I don’t know how many people he’s slept with. He’s never shared and I’ve never asked. I know about one. I assume there’s more! He knows about my ‘magic number’ only because I shared I’d only slept with one person before and explained I wanted to take things slow.
The issue is that he’s had so much casual sex and was a cheater. The way he shares makes me think he wants to keep you on your toes. Sounds like you had a really difficult relationship with your DS’s dad. I think some talking therapy might help with that and your self-esteem. It doesn’t sound like this relationship is very positive for you.

Well if he thinks you are a suitable audience for reminiscing about his colourful sex life then he really doesn't have much idea of respect in a relationship.

There is no way you should feel bad about your past sex life. He on the other hand has shown he regarded women as discardable sex objects.

I would doubt very much whether he has suddenly acquired the necessary attitude to women to make him a faithful partner capable of commitment and respect.

He is already undermining your self esteem.

You deserve better OP.

I’d find it off putting if my partner thought I was a suitable audience to brag about his wandering cock and how he shagged anyone who stood still long enough.

Ok it’s in the past but it shows a disregard for women and a misogynistic attitude imo.

Theres absolutely nothing wrong with only having a handful of previous partners OP so don’t doubt yourself.