My recent ex of 1.5 years had some issues since we were long distance. I wasn't feeling like much of a priority since his 18 year old daughter and career were always put first. Sometimes this was understandable, and sometimes I did not feel my needs were being met (birthdays missed etc).
We were only seeing each other every 5-6 weeks. I don't have children and I couldn't tell in the end if he was putting in as much effort as he could or if he has some commitment issues. There were some signs of these issues that I could piece together from his previous relationship stories. In the end I felt that I wanted more effort from him and it was hard for us to get to know each other since our time together would be for a few days at a time but spread so far apart.
I broke it off with him because he told me in the very beginning he wanted a life partner, common law etc and even marriage if that was what his "person" wanted, but when we got closer to these things, the target moved like a carrot on a stick, he started changing the things he had said and I felt that this was different from what we discussed in the beginning and that if we don't have the same goals, I don't see why we would continue a relationship and I broke it off. I thought this made sense. We got back together after multiple conversations that included him saying he still wanted those things, but then he told me he no longer felt secure in the relationship since I broke it off and he needs more time to see if we can rebuild trust etc. In the beginning I told him to slow down because he kept asking if we could move in together. I said not at that time but eventually if things worked well.
I gave it 6 more months and he still had the same non-committal attitude when I spoke about moving closer to him (keep in mind we only saw each other three times for a few days in those months). I confronted him and asked if he had a change of heart. He told me that he was so in love with me in the beginning but I "broke it" since I broke up with him. It seems to be the same circular argument because I kept saying, well if we don't have the same life goals, we should break it off because even if we get past the fact that I broke up with him, the reason it happened is still there. He doesn't seem to get this and keeps telling me not to put pressure on things etc. He has also told me that I am the best relationship that he has ever had, but he is not sure if he is in love with me right now since that happened as he says I am "hot and cold". I guess I am because I don't know if I am wasting my time.
We ended up just leaving things on that note since he said he doesn't know what he wants and I have said I deserve better. He says he deserves better and maybe he does. It was left in an odd way on WhatsApp where we just both stopped talking and we haven't deleted each other on social media etc. I can see he is following me very closely on everything, he is the first person to check all of my stuff and I am not sure if he is aware I can see this. He has told me before that he always deletes his exes as it is a way for him to move on. Part of me just wants to delete him since I don't see a point in arguing, and part of me is getting satisfaction in seeing that he is maybe missing me. I wonder if I should say something before I delete him? I guess I am dreaming he will say something like he has come to his senses and misses me terribly and is sorry, but he probably would have said that already!