Fwb arrangement not sure how to proceed

[riverforest11112]

So I have arrangement with someone who I like and respect for but it’s like a fwb but it’s complicated for an about 7 years. No issue there.
we only had a threesom discussion which was very brief.
I have not tried it . it was like did you ever type chat thing.
but he said he had once or something many years ago and that was that and it was ffm . And in all this time there was no other discussion about it.

i think he has been seeing someone else because we were supposed to something else and he gave me excuse but I that was the something else I asked him and he denied it and we drifted apart a few months ago.
we got back in contact as friends and as life can be lonely sometimes.

One night he rings me up and I think he had a few drinks on him said something about a threesome and only with a female and something like she has a good body .

I was upset because I told him that he mentioned someone had a beautiful body but he didn’t mention anything about mine and I freaked about the threesome thing

we had another chat about it and the are parts that you know like I could be interested in exploring as I’m a very sensual person. So we started to talk about it and even I got into it

he did say at this point this is all fantasy talk as I think he is very hesitant . But I was going away and my birthday is soon .

i started to feel like uneasy about it and I think I know the reason why because he never explained his or this motivated towards this especially in all time together .
I have a feeling that this woman wants a threesome with the experience of another woman. Which I get but what I think is .

That lady has been asking him a few times and he either really likes her and willing to give her desires but using me as bait or he wants to please her but using me as an expense.
And that what irate me .

If I asked that question ok I’m all our years you only spoke about that but suddenly your thinking is this and why he might go blah blah

now if he says I want to get off to
see 2 lady playing getting of ( I get that ) and perhaps give you the experience ( maybe that acceptable) however like I said she wants a woman he goes you can riverforest so he can please her . I think I would feel used but of course he won’t admit that. But I have to speak to him about it

this is a total minefield for me a part even wants to do it but the other part feels he only doing it to please her but I would have to clearly have to have a chat with him when I’m home .

as I hate for him to sort out this idea and it’s rather complicated because it my birthday and while I’m not expecting anything of him but he does I will have to slide or he doesn’t that is fine and I raised it .

Where are you in all of this! What do you want?

What do you want?

Sounds too complicated, and it is upsetting you with comments about bodies. You deserve better.

honestly I’m slightly curious about the other woman in this look wise etc ,
he obviously really likes her as I think it’s her suggestion and he is pleasing her and giving in to her desire . Which is like putting her first if you get me . And what about me .

I have not ever had an experience or thought I would with another woman and like I said a part some weirdly exciting about it and maybe even like it
but the other part is like I’m not sure and I’m straight .
say for example he tells me to go to his house and she is there and he knows her and knows me but I’m don’t know her . I’m curvy and apparently she had a good body . He be like introduce yourself and action time . But I be asking questions to her saying what your motivation towards this and she could possibly say I always wanted to sleep with a woman or ( again) or have a ffm some . I told this to him and he was like here is riverforrest she will play with you like a cat bringing a Mouse to a master.

Sounds like a load of wank fodder for him. LTB.

He’s angling to get his own desires fulfilled. He’s lucky to have you solo but instead is keeping you dangling because he wants you to do this. Doesn’t sound like the benefit part of this is there?

He did apologise it but like he clearly had a thing for in which I get . I do think that this threesome thing will go ahead with or without me as she obviously wants it . A part of me is you know curious but I do feel I have to raise it my friend suggested that during a call I would say in all our years that we hanged out we never discussed this before so why now ?
perhaps why me? Just to see what he says
and on depending on what he says I would hypothetically you had a friend with a good body and she wants a woman and your like . Hey I like you and I going to fulfill your desires and give you riverforest like a peice of meat to you . Of course if I say that to him then you know he just silk or something and this will be off but still it leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth
perhaps I should just do it.
my friend thinks I should wait until my birthday or address after some time to see if he gets me anything and address it an other time but no more mention of it until I’m either going to address any other concerns.
play along with him until he introduced me to her and sees what comes out of her mouth I think I would actually meet her on the day
but it does annoy me that suddenly that I’m not good enough anymore and where is my respect

Exactly. He is using you. This isn’t something you have decided you want. You don’t need to do this just to please him. If it all goes wrong, or you get hurt, this is years of problems. Leave them to it, you’re better off alone than being coerced into this.

Oh this is absolutely about him and not about you.
Is he always this selfish about things?

I was in an swinging relationship about 15yrs ago, not for long. He wanted it all on his terms. I expected mutual terms. Which we initially agreed on.

He was happy with FFM and FFMM but when I suggested MMF, he agreed until it happened. Then he freaked out.

Only do what makes you happy. It's your body and your decision. Do not agree to any situation which makes you uncomfortable. Also be careful of your friend pushing you into situations you don't want to be in.

Please be careful.

Thank you all for your support and letting me have this as a space .
I say he has narc tendencies and of course a man wants to f.f to play with him and whatever . But my fear is all is why now ?

if I had mentioned to him in that past .

saying I would love to do a f,fm with him he would probably say yes have you got someone in mind and I like ew no and he also states the he would never do a m.mf .
Which is completely his choice !

not that I would have suggested that to him.
but that as far at the conversation goes.
mall of sudden he is mentioned it a few times. I did play along with him to gain a bit more information but he is as I said he is very hesitant about it.
he has mentioned that it’s all fantasy talk and that he wants to talk to me about it . he hasn’t anyone else in mind but asked did I . But I know him and I think he sneaky this as idea but it’s all for her and I’m like that is my fear .

Oh just fuck him off, far too much drama

Tell him you will meet her without him. If you fancy her have an F-F night.
Only invite him if you both want to.
Believe me it is better to do this than to be in a situation where you have to perform.
And if you prefer a fwb with her then get rid of him :)

at the moment he backed and said might not happen and stuff and to add an extra layer of stress it’s also my birthday
That’s the thing I know he won’t but I do think this lady lives local to me he could potentially be like
come to my house all casual

and she be there and he be like this is she and a little chat

and his idea that he kiss me I kiss her and she kiss him and it would continue like that and that we play me and her.

This is way too complicated for FWB.

You don’t sound interested, you sound upset/ticked off that he doesn’t want just you and fearful of annoying him or losing him.

You use the words fear, hesitant and freaked out, and then say he’s a narc and sneaky. Your most recent post is very garbled and almost nonsensical. Why does your birthday add an extra layer of stress to a threesome that hasn’t happened or been planned?

This FWB arrangement is no longer working so I’d call time and move on.

He has no respect for you as a person whatsoever. He treats you like a sex doll. For crying out loud, just put a stop to the whole thing and draw a line under it.

If you want a FWB, there's plenty out there without all this ridiculous carry-on.