A old Friend that i had not been in contact with over 25 yrs

[Bulldog01]

A old friend got in touch with me recently, to let me know a mutual friend had died.

She, asked me would i like to attend a restaurant in London to celebrate her life.
I said yes, we then all chose a suitable date/time.

I had quite a long journey 158 miles. Which meant it took 3 1/2 hours by train. Said friend only travelled 30 minutes. I was not happy that this so called friend had left a message on the group chat to mention that I was late meeting her at the station. Late due to a delayed train, by 10-15 mins.

Which i felt, rude & petty, I was looking forward to the gathering, but when i saw this it really left me wondering why i even went!

What are your thoughts?

So was your friend meeting you at the station and then both of you were making your way to the venue to meet the rest? That’s what it reads like.
Did you let her know you were running late or was she just waiting about? Because if so, yabu.
She was probably just wanting to let the group know the lateness wasn’t her doing! A bit petty, and of course it wasn’t your doing either.
Did the gathering otherwise go ok? Did you explain the group why you were late? Presumably they accepted it or were they arsey about it? How were things left between you all?
If there gathering itself went fine then I’d let it go.

This is not the hill to die on, get over it. Life is too short, remember the funeral you attended!

This is a completely normal thing to do. You were running late. I assume the people on the group chat were the people you were meeting. You should have messaged them all yourself to let them know you were late, but you didn’t, so she did it on behalf of both of you (since you were also making her late too).

100% depends on how this was worded. Context is definitely key in the situation

we’re going to be late because bulldog01 trains was delayed see you soon. Fine

i am still waiting for bulldog01 cos she didn’t get here at the time she was suppose too. Not fine

I think you just took this the wrong way , think it was just an update so everyone else aware why you both were not there- my friends would do this

Obviously, there's no context here so I can't comment on the actual issue you're posting about

But I am somewhat thrown at the idea of meeting somebody after 25 years. I wouldn't even remember their name if I hadn't seen them for 25 years.

I suppose you must've been very much in touch in other ways...otherwise there wouldn't be a mutual friend.

this kind of weird pettiness doesn't usually arise if you know somebody well and you're in regular contact with them.

it also seems odd to be looking forward to a gathering that was brought about by somebody's death.

so this person whose life was meant to be being remembered, who you travelled a seven hour round trip to celebrate, and you're worried about someone saying that your train was late? And just this made you wonder why you bothered travelling seven hours, when on the surface you did that to commemorate someone's life?

so a puzzling post for me in many ways.

I think it’s more puzzling that the OP chose the title she did, which bears no relationship to why she is annoyed, why she feels that the distance she travelled to the meal compared to the distance travelled by the friend is relevant, and why an update on a communal WhatsApp group to the effect that two of them were running slightly late enraged her so much that she wondered why she’d attended the meal to celebrate the life of the dead friend.

I’m vaguely imagining everyone else raising toasts to the friend’s memory snd sharing anecdotes while the OP glowers about a message.