Splitting with young kids

[Fortyandfecked]

Has anyone split from their DH/DP when their DC were under 5? How did it effect them? What was it like sharing custody?

I'm a year in. We are nesting which is interesting at times but amicable between us and it's meant children (just turned 6 and 3) have been able to stay in their home. It's not a long term solution but is working for the time being and the children understand mum and dad aren't married anymore but are 'best buds'. It's difficult at times but I think they haven't been impacted badly at this point

I'm guessing your call here is to women, so I hope you won't mind my input. My sons were 5 and 3 when I split with their mother. For the first year, I lodged with a friend close by. Then I met my now DW and within six months we bought a house together. The boys were always well cared for and had a decent place to live. They came to us at weekends. My sons are 28 and 30, doing well, great lads, and we have always had a great relationship. However, I found being a weekend dad, with a new wife (who was very supportive of me) very difficult, emotionally. Still, no-one died, I brought home the bacon, and we all still love each other.

Thanks for responding. Is your ex a good dad?

My child's behavioral problems improved markedly

Thank you. I'm glad to hear all turned out well. My boys are also 5 and 3.

I don't know whether you were replying to me. I am the dad.

That's interesting. Do they still have a relationship with their dad?

Sorry, no. Cross post.

Mine were 4 and 2 and I am so glad I did it then as it was all an adventure for them moving into a new house, they never had to see any of the vile treatment of me and are extremely happy and well adjusted. They see their dad plenty and we do things like school plays/ parents eve together just fine. With friends who have split when their children are older I can see it’s had a much more detrimental impact both witnessing a bad relationship and the trauma of the change

I have my two are 11 and 14 now. We muddled through wasn't easy but if your in an unhappy relationship get out

It's gone from unhappy to toxic. I don't want to be around him anymore. My biggest concern is having to share custody. He's not a good parent, more Disney Dad.

In general, the younger they are, the better they cope with parents separating. Especially when the alternative is 'staying together for the sake of the kids', then splitting up years later and the kids realise their childhood family unit was a sham.