Bit of a long one sorry but not sure who else to talk to. Name changed obvs.
Been with DP 4 years, we’ve got a DS (2) and another on the way. Things have been decent mostly, not perfect but who is. When we met he told me he used to have a bit of a problem with coke and pills but swore he’d been clean a good while and tbh I believed him. He seemed solid, held down a job, no major red flags.
Lately though I’m getting that horrible gut feeling. He’s been edgy as anything, going out a lot more “to see mates” but won’t say who, money’s tighter than it should be (he’s self employed so it’s hard to track exactly), and I swear I found a little baggie in his coat pocket last week. Empty but still. He said it was old and forgot it was there. I wanted to believe him but it’s niggling at me.
Last night he came home off his face, no question. Tried to act normal but slurring and pupils like saucers. Said he’d had a few drinks with the lads but he doesn’t usually drink much at all. DS was asleep thankfully but still made my skin crawl.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want this round my kids but I still love him and want him to get help. Feel so bloody stupid. Don’t want to talk to friends/family yet cos I don’t want them thinking bad of him if he sorts himself out. But I’m scared this is the start of a slippery slope.
What do I even say to him? Don’t want to push him away but I can’t ignore it either. Just want a hand hold really.
Thanks if you read x