stalking, need a hand hold

[findingjoy22]

Hi, i am divorced mom of two and i have been stalked by an ex-partner (someone i casually dated more like a FWB, not the father of my children) for 2,5 years now. To put it briefly, after i ended things years ago he continues to follow me nearly daily on the street whilst whistling (I cannto explain how cretty the whisling is, i can hear him coming a mile behind me), after i drop my kids off at school and taunts me passing me and following me, waiting and lurking if i go in a shop. I have blocked him on the phone so no virtual contact. I have been a women's domestic violence centre and got support there. I live abroad in an EU country. i sent a cease and desist letter through a lawyer and he stopped briefly and started up again. I went to the police and filed a report. They spoke with him and reviewed the evidence (I had my statement and witness statements) but because it is physical following on the street in an urban centre it is harder to prove. He has never threatned me or anythign like that it is just incredibly creepy and the persistence of it, over more than 2 years is driving me mad.

Since the police, closed the report, i feel so impotent and alone in this situation. I am posting this, not to get legal advice (bear in mind i do not live in the UK and laws are different in each country). I just need a little support and maybe some encouragement that eventually he will stop.

Can you move? If you're not getting any support,then get away.

How dreadful for you. I agree with PP, move away if you can, without telling anyone of your plans.

Had you thought about contacting your Embassy or Consulate? I used to work as a Consular Officer overseas and while the staff don't have much power, they can offer support and perhaps speak to the police on your behalf.

Just agreeing with others that moving would be best. Far away. There are always other schools and other jobs. Do whatever it takes to get away from the risk. It's sad that it has to come down to us changing our lives to be safe but, if no one else is going to step in then you have to step up and make the changes.

Thanks for all your responses.

unfortunately I cannot move away or change schools due to the custodial agreements with my ex husband. He would never agree and would not be supportive of my difficulty (he is still angry I chose to divorce). This is why I feel so impotent, it is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am currently in therapy to work on myself as well as my choices in men.

for this school year, I have decided to enroll my kids in early school program and late school program so I can vary the entry and pick up times and be less predictable.

I am still proud of myself of going to the police and filing the report even if it did not amount to anything. At least I spoke up and sent a clear signal and the authorities are aware of who he is and what is going on.

Don't beat yourself up about your choices in men, OP. Many many of us on here could make therapists very rich with that one. And you should be, rightly, proud of yourself for contacting the authorities. I suppose all you can do is keep logging it until the vile man loses interest. Have you researched about different support organisations available? I know you're in a different country but UK has some, eg Suzy Lamplugh trust. These organisations might be able to offer further advice and support. Best wishes x