DH not respecting my wishes

[Disappointeddotcom]

How would you feel if your DH went behind your back and did something that you had asked him not to, then lied about it and laughed when it was mentioned at a family dinner?

Depends what it was.

I would feel really hurt and reevaluating my future. How do you feel?

Totally depends what it is.

I’m not sure it does depend on what it was. If he’s done something you asked him not to, it just shows his lack of respect for you and your wishes

Hard to say, the detail is missing

It does depend what it was. Buying an expensive sports car with joint money or shaving off his beard are very very different things.

Of course it depends, people aren't obliged to carry out all their partner's wishes just because they say so, if the wish isn't reasonable or fair!

I'd be hurt and offended, particularly about the lying.

Depends whether the wish is something you should have control over. As someone said above. If you have asked your DH not to wear red trousers then he did and laughed about it with family then that is different. Although not nice to laugh about anything you have said with other people.

Depends....don't belittle/ make fun of me or do as I say because I own you?
If a man asked this the assumption would be he's controlling....so it really needs more detail.

He doesn't sound very nice at all. What options do you have?

Of course it does - if the poster is super controlling and told him not to drive to the shops, then he's totally right to ignore them!

Need more info to make an informed judgement...

The lying isn't great but does it affect you?

You not wanting him to do something doesn't mean he shouldn't do it. But he shouldn't lie to you if it's anything of note.

It depends whether it’s something that is rightly his business or yours. If it’s his, lying is far from ideal, but you may be partly at fault.

I would be upset and angry.

Lying is a big deal: you can't trust a liar. They don't just lie about one thing: its a way of life.

Going behind your back is devious and laughing about it in front of other people is disrespectful and contemptuous of you.

It's difficult to imagine a situation where this would be OK.

@Ohmeohmyohdear what about 'oh i hate.m&s because they have Dawn French in their adverts and Vicar of Dibley is blasphemy, you are not allowed to go there'..
And he went, but said he didn't?

It certainly does depend on what .

Well for a start OP says she ASKED him not to do something. That is a reasonable thing and totally different from TELLING another adult not to do something.

And as an adult if she asked him not to do something and he wanted to do it anyway he should have been discussing the matter with her and explaining that he didn't feel it was a reasonable request. And be honest and tell her he was going to do it despite her request. Not go behind her back.

And what justification is there for disrespecting your partner in front of other people?

So what is totally relevant bit missing?

Do you always do what you are told/asked? The fact you haven't disclosed what it was makes me think it was trivial.

Yes sorry OP but unless you give more of a steer on what it was he did you aren’t going to get anything useful back. It can be high level but need an idea of what it is you are talking about….

Depends what it was- if it was eating all the red jelly babies, not really a problem. If it was dogging then that would be more problematic.

I'd be fucked off no matter what it was because he chose to laugh about it in front of others.

Depends what it was.
We don't know anything...perhaps your request was unreasonable.