Mixed feelings after separation

[Chimpannazee]

Hi everyone, think I just need a bit of a hand hold here….
hubby and I seperated in February this year and waiting for the divorce and settlement to go through. I’m just having a really tough day today and feel a huge mixture of emotions and wondered if anyone else has been through similar?
I struggle with anxiety anyway and today is a bad day. Hubby has been absolutely awful to me in the months after the split and after probably 8 years of feeling shitty about things that he has done while drunk and the gaslighty way he spoke to me during these times to shift the blame onto me..I decided enough was enough and ended things.
I know deep down I’ve done the right thing..but today for some reason I’m in a panic because I’m worried that I will regret it. I hate feeling like this because I really wasn’t happy and I know if I hadve stayed I would always have wondered what if. He has already started redecorating the house a week after me going and really isn’t acting like a man who is sad things ended at all. When i ended it he said to me..well I haven’t found you attractive for a couple of years..but you haven’t me either have you? He just says some very strange things to make me feel like it’s always me if that makes sense

can I ask if this is a common thing to feel? It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions. I moved into a rental last week to get some breathing space and this is the first weekend without my beautiful daughter who is 13 so I am feeling lonely today….tell me it gets easier 😥 feeling sad today xx

Perfectly normal to feel like this as it is fairly recently . And the fact that you are alone does make you really feel by yourself. But you are so much better off , moved on to your place and the freedom to do whatever you please .
Men seem to move on so much faster anyway. It is quite telling that he claims to not wanting to be married yet he never said did anything about it . Think it's just a way of saving face . It obviously did bother him as you said he made it difficult to divorce .
The good thing and so many MNers will tell you is that in time you will wonder how you were ever married to him . Your best years are still ahead of you.

It gets better. But it can take a while, and if you’ve literally only just moved out, this is early days. So yes, this first weekend away from your daughter in a new place may well be as bad as it gets. Just don’t doubt yourself, hold your head high x

Thankyou so much. It’s almost as though today I have forgotten about how unhappy I felt for all those years. And how maybe it was all my fault etc. My head just seems to wander into the most random of places!
I mustn’t doubt myself. I know up until today I have known I’ve done the right thing. I miss my girl I think that’s all xx

I'm 9 days after splitting up after 12 years and I suffer anxiety also and struggle with my thoughts especially the guilt and also if I done the right thing but when that happens I turn my thoughts back to the reasons we separated and my hopes for the future and it works but give yourself time as I I'm and good luck 👍 🥰

Thankyou so much. Such a rollercoaster it’s so hard. Just got to hold onto the reasons why I left. I don’t miss him I don’t think…i miss my daughter that’s the hardest part 😥

You have already done the hardest of things by being pro active and moving out. It's a big thing to hack, that you're now on your own in a new place, especially without daughter. It's perfectly normal to have a little wobble. 🤗 Do you want to go back? No, of course you don't, you know already that you've done the right thing - so please, don't look back. Go forward, baby steps and take one step at a time. You're doing good!