How to get my ducks in a row

[Happytweet]

I think my marriage is ending.

I’m so sad and I’m not sure how this is going to work.

Please tell me what I need to think about.

Money.

You need to know about the bank accounts.
How much he earns
His pension
Your pension
The value of your home, if it's not rented.
The amount of mortgage - if it's mortgaged
The equity of your home
Savings
Other investments
even the cars you have - if you have one each etc.

are there children involved ?
if so, who would they live with
if with you, how often would he have them overnight etc.
Then you can think about maintenance etc.

Generally the starting point is 50/50 re all the financial things.
which is why you need to know what is where, and how much.

and of course a solicitor, one who specialises in divorce.

Once you know the above, it will help you know where you may be living in the future.
i.e. if the house is mortgaged, how much would you receive after it is sold and the mortgage paid off
would you be able to buy somewhere else
or if you earn enough, can you afford to take over the mortgage
can you afford to buy him out etc.

https://www.gov.uk/divorce

this takes you through the process step by step, it's worth reading and you don't have to do anything just read it.

This is of course if you are in the UK.

I would also suggest getting your ducks in a row suggests you do not tell your husband until you have to.

So security - remove / delete / clear any searches on your phone / PC, log into websites each time, using a password.
Change any passwords that he may know.
i.e. for Mumsnet I don't log in / out, I am always ' here ' so I don't need to enter a password each time. But if I wanted to make sure someone accessing my PC couldn't read what I have written on Mumsnet I would log out each time.

Thank you so much. I am feeling overwhelmed with it all tonight but will be reading through the link info carefully in the morning.

Of course you are overwhelmed - it's all going to be very new to you.

I expect there will be more replies when you come back tomorrow as it's currently 1am in the UK.