Hi ,
I didn’t really know which topic to post this in, but seeing as it’s more about a clash in mine & DH’s opinions, I thought this would be the most suitable board.
We started TTC our second baby in Jan this year. I had a miscarriage in January, then another straight after in my next cycle. It’s our third total MC, with our son born in between the first and the others. I had tests in April this year & we were told to stop trying for a cycle. I got the results last week and there’s nothing wrong with me, physiologically , that would cause a miscarriage .
We carried on trying in May and we’ve just been unsuccessful. I know it’s only been 6 months but i am SO angry at it all. I have changed my mind so many times about TTC since the miscarriages but now I am at the point where I do actually want to stop.
My husband wants to continue trying. The last conversation we had we agreed to stop temporarily in September as I have a new job lined up for January next year and our baby will start nursery. Both go hand in hand, due to funding eligibility etc. I’m looking forward to it. But I want to stop TTC now, because I don’t want to go through the heartache every month of the disappointment or if by some miracle we get pregnant again, to just lose it again. I know if I do get pregnant, I won’t be happy I will just be filled with anxiety and probably, depression. I want another baby, but I don’t want to go through the pregnancy, if that makes sense.
What I am having trouble with, is understanding who gets the right to decide what actually happens? Because both my husband and I have equally good reasons to want to continue trying/stop trying. His wants, and reasons, are no more or less valid than mine. When I’ve spoken to him about the idea of stopping he has got so, so upset. I don’t know what to do.
thank you if you got this far reading x