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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do I leave - advice

21 replies

spikeycat · 17/01/2005 10:34

I am so unhappy, I was to leave. We own the house together, its worth about 255K and theres 144 left on the mortgage. Would I be forced to sell to release his share of the capital? Can I apply to the council for house while we own this one so I can just give it to him? We are not married. Have two children.

OP posts:
rickman · 17/01/2005 10:38

Message withdrawn

Original poster
spikeycat · 17/01/2005 12:39

bump

OP posts:
MeerkatsUnite · 17/01/2005 12:47

Hi Spikeycat,

You need to seek proper legal advice asap on these matters.

Would suggest you contact the CAB and also a solicitor who can advise you. I believe that some Solicitors initial consults are free of charge.

I wish you well.

Original poster
spikeycat · 19/01/2005 07:15

rickman - can you tell me how you did it?

OP posts:
kid · 19/01/2005 07:18

When my sister left her husband, they had a joint mortgage. She was told that while her name was on the mortgage she wouldn't be re-housed. But if she gave him the house, she would be making herself deliberatly homeless.
I'm really sorry that is no help and not what you want to hear but the law changes all the time and this was quite a few years ago. I agree that you need to get some legal advice, its not fair that you should have to stay if you are unhappy just because the house.

Original poster
spikeycat · 19/01/2005 09:15

the problem is although I don't like him very much, I really don't want to take the house from him as he has already had that done to him before. (You think he would learn his lesson and start treating who he is with some respect!)
I have looked at the CAB website and it appears that what you say is true, if I sign it over to him I make myself homeless and they don't really have to help me. Catch 22!

I'm going to c if I can get a free 1/2 hour with a solicitor, the problem is unless I am prepared to rip him apart financially as well as emotionally I don't think I can do anything

OP posts:
rickman · 19/01/2005 09:48

Message withdrawn

rickman · 19/01/2005 09:49

Message withdrawn

Original poster
spikeycat · 19/01/2005 18:07

I've just gone back work part time 22 hours a week. Didn't get the message but haven't checked that account, will do so now.

OP posts:
jordylass · 20/01/2005 08:18

I was just about to post a similar message to see if anyone else had been in this type of situation.

I've been with my partner for almost 16 years, we own our home jointly and we have 3 dependent children.
I would like us to part, he will not discuss it at all, I don't think either of us can afford the house seperately.
I have tried to discuss this with him, giving the options I thought were available to us, we sell the house or he buys me out.
His only response if I bring this up, is, if you want to part so bad, move out, I'm not giving you anything (for the house that is), I can't see him not maintaining his children.
I do have an appointment with a solicitor although I hoped we'd be able to sort this out without involving them, but I just don't know where to start, or what the likely outcome will be if I do keep this appointment.
I'm becoming so down at being at home with him, I've considered moving to rented accomodation with the children, and hoping he would then have no option but to sell or buy me out.
We'll have to keep each other updated through this.

rickman · 20/01/2005 09:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
spikeycat · 20/01/2005 10:38

jordylass, I have to say have a look at the CAB website as well, I found it very useful. Looks like its a lot easier to get what your entitled too if u r married?

OP posts:
jordylass · 20/01/2005 18:22

No we're not married

jordylass · 24/01/2005 09:27

OMG, my app with solicitor is in 30 mins and i'm c*cking myself.

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 24/01/2005 09:36

He can't just say 'you're not getting anything' but I'm sure your solicitor will tell you that. If it's jointly owned, it's jointly owned, it's half yours! Good luck.

msann · 24/01/2005 09:45

i thought that the most important thing was NEVER to leave (as in pack ur stuff & go) the house?? he shud b the one to leave. doesnt everything become more difficult if u r the one to go??

jordylass · 24/01/2005 10:36

Just come back and it seems it's not the most important thing not to leave, but I do have to make sure that where I go to is suitable for children or he could apply for a residency order, but he;d have to get a parental responsibility order first as we aren't married.
It's a complete mess, but as I was driving back from sols I saw a 'to let' sign going up on a house, phoned them, I can see it tomoorrow, and if suitable can have keys friday, when things fall into place like that I hope its right.

msann · 24/01/2005 12:12

just a quick warning - the parental responsibility will b granted 2 him (just as soon as he realises or is told to apply 4 it) .. i beleive the parental responsibility is now granted at birth, so any1 applying 4 it now will get it as a matter of course

Blackduck · 24/01/2005 12:41

PR - my understanding is Yes its automatic at birth now...BUT if the children were born beofre a certain date (think its Dec 2003) then it is NOT automatic and has to be applied for...

jordylass · 24/01/2005 14:29

The children were born long before it became automatic. Will it take long for him to get it, (if he applies)?

weightwatchingwaterwitch · 24/01/2005 15:46

PR is now granted IF the father attends at the registration of the birth, it's not automatic. See the PR section here

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