Dumpers regret?

[alexis97]

So me and DH have been split up 7 weeks now, and in the last week it’s all been strange to say the least.

Since Tuesday he’s been finding ways to try and talk to me on the phone, asking me where im going and offering to take me places when we’ve been doing handover with the kids, today when he picked up our children from nursery where I also work he was finding ways to talk to me saying our little one seen me and wanted to see me when she didn’t I purposely moved into another room so she didn’t but he saw me, trying to look for me and this afternoon he knocked on the door and asked if I would come for tea with him and the kids. Apparently his reasoning for this was we’re still a family and should be spending time together if we are together or not, he hurt me in one of the worst ways and just discarded me. I wish I never went with him. It felt absolutely pointless to me. Nothing but small talk so I just threw everything into the kids. People keep saying he’s realised the grass isn’t greener and is trying to worm his way but he’s too proud to tell me he’s screwed up but I told him I just don’t understand why he wants this when it will just confuse the kids even more. Why ask where im going, what im doing and try to take me places? Ive also had his mam messaging me the day before this happened telling me how much she loves me, is thinking of me and hopes I’m okay and will catch up with me when she’s home from her holidays. I’m still in the move on mentality because I refuse to let myself become affected because of this, Im healing and doing so well but I don’t understand because he finished it with me… it’s our wedding anniversary Monday so not sure if that’s hitting a nerve for him.

OP … you’re going to end up I this situation for years! Seriously. I’m saying this with kindness… you’re wasting your energy on analysing an idiot and ruminating in the drama! This can only keep going on if you keep feeding into it. You have to ask yourself truthfully do you want him or do you not. That’s it. Yes or no. If yes, he’s a cheater, that’s the truth and you have to face that. If you don’t want him. Put boundaries up and end it. Your kids with be adults and you’ll still be going why so you think he done this? And what do you think that means? He’s cheated, he wants back, I’m not being harsh but surely there’s no big mystery here. Don’t turn into that person who is still talking about this years down the line trying to analysis a text. It really comes down to this. The man and all his flaws and who he is … you know what that is. I’d you want that…take him back. If you don’t.. cut him off except for discussions about the children. You’re feeding this.

This.

The ow left him high and dry and he wants to come back. Move on OP. He is a selfish man child and he will cheat again once he gets his feet back in your house.

If he wanted you back he wouldn’t have shown you the photo of his new girlfriend that he cheated on you with. It’s a soft launch. He doesn’t have the backbone to be upfront so he lets you ‘find out’ and then confirms it.

But he’s clearly being nice to keep his options open in case it doesn’t work out. Don’t let him do that to you. Close the door hard. You did everything right. You kept your dignity and didn’t do the pick me dance. He may regret blowing up your family for a woman he barely knows in the future, and it’s understandable that you want him to feel that way. But ultimately whether he regrets it or not doesn’t change your reality. Because he’s a cheater you can’t trust and he left you and your kids for his own selfish reasons. Going back would only ever cause yourself more heartache. I hope that the karma gets him but more importantly, I hope it gives you the life you deserve.

It’s the fact he wants me to keep his house key and doesn’t want to give it to her, for emergencies and if the dogs need let out if he gets stuck at work? I was like no that’s absolutely not how this works, once I move out on Thursday im gone, this is what you wanted.

I have no doubt he’ll be giving her a spare key before long. But it was a useful ploy to keep you on the hook a bit longer until he’s sure it’s going to work out with her. He doesn’t want you back, but he wants to know you’re still hanging around and he won’t want you with anyone else. Don’t fall for it, boundaries in place.

So the man that lied to you about his ‘friend’ you now think is telling you the truth when he says he would never give her his spare key? Like I said, he’s keeping his options open. He’s telling you he has a gf whilst also saying you are important to him. He wants you in the background holding out hope he might want you back while he sees where this new relationship goes.

You are right though. That’s not how things work and it’s in your hands whether he gets to treat you like that.

I told him the key I had I would be leaving in the cupboard when I leave on Thursday he should give that to her or his mam and he was like no I want you to keep that. It definitely feels like he’s trying to Lee me close but I won’t be second best. I know that this is going to blow up in his face and I won’t be there when it does. I’ll just hear about the fallout, and I’ll be in my new home with my babies

Keep strong OP, don't let him mess with your head.
Get to your new house with your kids and set strong boundaries.
He wants to keep you engaged while chasing the OW, don't let him have that power. He's a twat.
Good luck in your new home.

He learnt the hard way that the grass isnt greener whether that's with another woman or not. Fuck him, stick to your guns op you sound like a strong person and wise to his antics.