Does it get any easier

[Pinotgirl18]

Hi, first time posting and looking for advice. I found out nearly 2 years ago my DH was sending inappropriate messages to a female colleague 20 years younger than him! Nothing physical happened between them. As soon as I found out and confronted him the messages stopped, and he deleted her number but kept her as a friend on facebook. He apologised for what he had done and said it was a mistake! We were going on our family holiday 4 days after I found out, which was the hardest 2 weeks of my life!
We are still together and I am still trying to get over it and move on, but am really struggling. I am peri menopause which also I am struggling with. We are due to go on another family holiday in just over a week, but I am feeling so anxious about it, we are not getting on at the moment, which isnt helping, but it's more me keeping my distance from him.
I would like advice from others who has been in a similar situation, does it get easier, can I move on and we can both be happy again? Please be gentle with me, thank you for reading x

You might find the Surviving Infidelity website helpful. As far as I can see you've tried to get over it but can't. That's your prerogative and keeping her as a Facebook friend was silly of him.

Does he still work with this woman OP?
What was his excuse for keeping her as a friend on Facebook?

If he is still in contact with her at work and still regards her as a " friend" then its not surprising you are having difficulty getting over his cheating behaviour.

It sounds as though he has minimised what he did and treated it as of no importance. And as though he hasn't done anything to regain your trust.

Right now - sounds like you need breathing space more than a holiday. You’re head’s buzzing, you still can’t get the past issues out of your head and if things aren’t great, they’ll bubble up more. Will it get better? Not yet.

After 2 years, maybe you'd be better off throwing the towel in? There's nothing wrong on saying you have tried but you can't "get over" it.

Life is too short to spend it tearing yourself apart over what he did.

Did you do any relationship counselling? What's he done to try to make amends and reassure you?

What's the main thing keeping you with him?

Yes he still works this woman. She has moved on now and with someone and expecting their first baby. He says she is just a colleague and doesn't see her as a friend, so I don't know why it still bothers me, maybe just the betrayal after 23 years of marriage.
We did marriage counselling last year, which helped at the time!
Good question what is keeping me to stay with him. Maybe because we have been together for so long, and I want to believe it was a mistake!