Don’t agree with partners parenting, am I in the wrong?

[BlingersMcBling]

My partners 14 year old girl is constantly skiving off school. Her attendance was below 45% last term. It boils my blood and I’ve spoken to my partner about it but she just says it’s nothing to do with me. She has never once actually been ill in fact sometimes she’s blatantly laughing and screaming on her Xbox when she’s meant to be ill. By far the worst part about this is that I genuinely don’t believe my partner cares whether she is in school or not. Quite often when she has blatantly skived off I’ll get a message from my partner saying she’s gone food shopping with her daughter or she’s in the pub with her daughter… I’m like I thought she was meant to be ill.
is she right in that it is nothing to do with me and I should mind my own business or am I right to be concerned.

Oh op

where to start?

i Don’t think I can be bothered. If you’re with someone like this, then there is no chance you’ll listen anyway

Is this the partner with the son that you “can’t stand”?

I’m not sure I would find such slack, neglectful parenting a trait I could live with in a partner. They clearly don’t give much of a shit about their daughters long term well being

Personally I’d be reconsidering the whole relationship

Why stay with them if you feel this way?

I would be minding my own business right out the door. Sounds like a miserable relationship.

I couldn't be with someone who doesn't value education or someone who is raising their child to be spoilt and lazy.

Why do you stay?

She is being unreasonable to allow her daughter to skive but you can only have the conversation. It's her DD and you can't force her to change. I'd say you're fundamentally incompatible and end the relationship.

Just end the relationship.

"She says its nothing to do with me." She is quite correct. I see your issue as having a clash of fundamental values. Having a values clash of this depth, especially where there is no move to compromise / discuss = relationship with no future. It's got fuck all to do with the daughter and whether or not she goes to school.

Were there absolutely no signs of the way she parented before she became a “partner”? Surely it was evident when you were dating, and before you moved in together etc?

Just end the relationship. You don’t have compatible views and she’s not interested in your opinion on or input into how she parents or her daughter’s life.

1. Its not really your business
2. I would be questioning whether I wanted to be with someone with this attitude

Your opinion matters but she doesnt respect it so why are you bothering in this relationship.

If this is not your child, you don’t really get a vote.

however, this kind of parenting is poor enough that it should make you want to end the relationship.

Generally it's up to the parent how they parent. But I wouldn't want to be with someone with such a poor approach to parenting, it's so unlikely we would be compatible in other areas of life.

How can you be in about relationship with someone who's such a neglectful terrible parent.

Her attitude is shit, obviously. Easy to see why her daughter is the way she is.

Whether or not it’s your business depends - does this girl live with you? Is she screaming on Xbox while you try and WFH? Are you expected to do any childcare while she’s off school? Do you pick up after her or have to make her food while she’s off school? If yes, it is your business.

Why are you with this crap excuse for a parent? Presumably you don't want to have kids with him?

If this is the same partner you have been posting about for years, she’s been a problem from the word go.
Both of her children have become issues because they have been parented appallingly.
This is no longer about her.
It is about you.
Why do you think so little of yourself to stay in this situation?
You deserve better. I am not without empathy but at some point you need to leave as this woman is a nightmare.

Why are you in a relationship with someone who behaves like this? Get rid of him. He’s a loser.