Family finances and giving money to sibling

[Justmythoughtandme]

Hi all, I’m need a bit of advice here. Really want to make it short.
Me and my husband both work, me part time. We lost a fair bit of money recently due to job losses but thankfully we just started to recover. We lost a good sum of our savings that was intended for a house purchase. Basically our deposit money. Still feel gutted about it.

we are also expecting our second child and needing to move to a new flat which will cost a lot of money too. Thinking of £4000 at least.

Now I feel a little upset since my husband told me that he intends to give some money to his sister. I need to give a little backstory here : she and her husband are divorcing and she really hasn’t got any money, was a housewife, (on spouse visa USA) her husband controlled all money etc) The soon to be ex washes his hands and basically wants a divorce and she obviously need money to live and for a lawyer.

My husband intends to pay for all this. I feel a little upset but deep down I kinda understand. However seeing our current situation it feels like he should prioritise his expanding family’s needs and not empty our savings any further? Please send me some words of advice here, is this the right approach from my end? I just said to him: OK.

Thanks everyone xxx

Ah, what she says is correct then.

I believe there’s a way to apply for work authorization, she should definitely look into it. That doesn’t solve the immediate financial problem though. As others have said, your DH can’t just give away your joint savings.

Just seen your update. If they don’t have children, she can leave and go home.

OP says the SIL is from Bangladesh, probably nothing to go back to.

In this country there is right to remain here if leaving an abusive marriage when on a spousal visa

Obviously that may be very different in the states, but all similar avenues would be worth checking

It's surprising how many people are focusing on questions about the SIL rather than the OP. Regardless of how or why the SIL ended up in this situation, or whether she can find a job, one thing remains clear—her brother wants to help. And I completely understand and support his decision.

Time and time again, we see threads where a woman is trying to escape an abusive husband, and one of the first questions asked is, "Do you have family that can help?" In this case, she does have family willing to support her, yet some are questioning whether he should. That doesn’t sit right with me.

OP, I’m truly sorry for everything you and your husband are going through. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. But just for a moment, consider if you were the one in need—wouldn’t it be a relief to know your brother was there for you?

I would be furious never mind a little upset. You are not in a position to give anybody this amount of money. She must sort it out herself with her husband who she is divorcing, she isn't your responsibility.