One day I found viagra in my partners coat pocket and another day a condom.

[LolaE]

My partner tends to come home late at night with the excuse of working on his boat or helping other people in the marina. I have found Viagra in his coat pocket and when I questioned him he replied he was hiding it from me. He does use Viagra but a few weeks later I found a condom in his coat pocket. I called him on his mobile in the evening as I was so upset and he rushed home and said that he tidied up the garage and came across it from when he used to inject steroids which he was given with the needles in a chemist but he had the condom to use with me. We have never used condoms. Our sex life isn’t great as I have since moved out but he won’t let the relationship end. Am I paranoid in thinking he is sleeping with prostitutes. If anyone can give me their honest opinion I would appreciate it

Why prostitutes?

I mean he could be having sex with anyone, strange to assume it must be a prostitute.

That’s true but he mentions to me people he knows who sleeps with prostitutes behind their wives back so this is on my mind

Ah. Then yes he is having sex with prostitutes.

Ah he is telling you what he is doing then. Sleeping with prostitutes. But if you have moved out why are you bothered ? He's playing you and you're playing the game. Why does he need to end it ? End it yourself what are you waiting for ? Hugs

What do you mean OP when you say " he won't let the relationship end"?

He is having sex with someone who is not you. He is also a bad liar. Who used to inject steroids. And he appears to be forcing you to stay in a relationship with him.
Not clear how you have moved out, yet you talk about him “coming home”.

Do you have anyone in real life who can support you to get away from this controlling unfaithful arsehole?

Moving out is a backwards step in a relationship. You did that for a reason. Stick to your guns and end the relationship. He doesn’t have to let you do so.

You don't need his permission to end the relationship.

He doesn't get to decide the relationship isn't over. It only takes one person to end it.

You need to end contact.

What practical issues are there that keep you in contact with this man? If there are financial or property ties, then I would move to email only to deal with this.

If he's harassing you, you can get legal and police help to make him stop.

Sounds like he is up to no good. Sorry OP. Who keeps condoms and viagra in their pocket for no reason when their wife and him dont use them and he has a link to contact info for prostitutes. Nope. He’s been seeing them.

Get your ducks in a row

Honest opinion is he's obviously having sex with someone else. It doesn't really matter who it is, although if I were you I'd get tested for STDs.

I don't understand what you mean when you say he won't let the relationship end. You don't need his permission to end the relationship. Just tell him it's over and stop all contact?

What do you mean he won't let the relationship end? Relationships end when one decides, or the other decides, or both decide. Make your decision, and act accordingly (cut contact, etc).

The question is deep down do you believe that he has been cheating?

Can you accept it without further proof because he won’t confess?

Are you willing to be with a cheat who will continue to do it because they got away with it and will just hide it better?

Is he not letting you go or are you continuing to engage with him because you want to get back together despite knowing you will never forgive this?

If he found it in his garage from ages ago why does he actively have it on him now? He’s a liar and a cheat

end it

Been married over 50 years and never been through DHs pockets.

Don’t you do his washing? I used to find the odd banknote in my husband’s pockets 😁