Why is my husband’s ‘friend’ listed as a possible relative?

[Bettyyyy]

So I did a thing last night I probably shouldn’t have done but couldn’t help myself... I was feeling uneasy about this woman my husband is “just friends” with. Nothing inappropriate, but something’s always felt off to me. You know that gut feeling you just can’t shake?

Anyway, I ended up looking her up on peoplefinder.info (yeah I know... judge me later lol) and she popped up as one of his POSSIBLE RELATIVES. I literally froze. Like, WHAT?!

They’re not family. At least not that I know of. But that kind of tag doesn’t show up randomly, does it? Could it just be a data glitch?? Or does it mean they've shared an address or something deeper??

Have any of you ever used peoplefinder or similar sites? Have you seen that “possible relative” label before and had it actually be something? Or maybe nothing at all?

Tell me I’m not crazy for checking this kind of thing😃

How long have they been friends ?

Search engines like this usually focus on USA residents - a lot more personal info is public there, and you'll probably only get insightful replies from fellow Americans.

With any kind of search, the trick is to find 'hooks' - as you seem to have done - then drill down. Get a list of all her past known addresses, and all of your husband's. Then search the other people listed at all those addresses. Also search LinkedIn for her and your husband, plus any people shown as sharing their addresses for any length of time. Remember you're looking for connections, not criminal evidence! (You can easily find crime records in the US, too, so do that if you want to.) Also Google all the names she's been listed under, look at both text results and images.

Alternatively, ask your husband.

Just had a thought: you could try asking the various AI assistants "what are the connections between Jane Doe and John Smith, both resident in Arkansas?" I have no idea whether they will answer - they should have restrictions on personal data - but it's only a few minutes of your time.

Great suggestions, @GarlicMile. Re LinkedIn, though, won’t it show the woman that @Bettyyyy has checked out her page?

It will if the woman's a subscriber. I only have free membership so, although LinkedIn tells me how many people have looked at my page, I can't see who they were. Like Facebook, though, it does tend to suggest 'connections' that are probably my profile visitors.

If you were very determined to be surreptitious, you'd have to set up a new (fake) profile and search from that account.

Were they housemates back in uni days? Did one of them get post re-directed to the other’s house during a stint abroad? Did one of them have the other’s sibling or cousin as a housemate back in the day? For example, female friend was best friends in uni with dh’s sister and they had a flat together.