How to cope single with mortgage

[Sleepingbunny1]

Looking to seperate from DH, but unsure how i will financially cope-
2 x DS one SEN so need a stable home and routine, DH will not leave and rent in my area is about £1300-1500 pcm for a suitable house, even if it was a 2 bed and i slept in front room, i only earm £1950 per month so renting isnt affordable realistically and im not entitied to any help with a mortgage and working.

How do people afford to do so ??

If you move out of the family home, will you be entitled to universal credit and help with rent? I know it’s not what you want, but if you want to separate then maybe you should make the move. That’s what I did. I do earn more so I could afford it (just!). What if I couldn’t have afforded it I would’ve looked into some sort of benefits maybe. Is there anyway you could increase your income?

Some companies will take benefits and CM into account when calculating borrowing - I managed to get a mortgage when my marriage broke down working part time with 3 kids.

I did insist on the sale of our family home though and used my share of the equity as the deposit.

if you own the home jointly he can’t just stay there

we do own the home jointly and both on the mortgage, so i guess we can both legally stay there and i dont believe im entitled to any housing help as i am named on the mortgage

If he is refusing to leave then I would be telling him you need to put the house on the market. Is there much equity in it?
I split with my ex and the bank wouldn't let me take on the mortgage alone so we had to sell. Didn't get much equity out of it so I rented for a year to try to build up a bit extra (although back then rent was nowhere near as much).
You do know he will have to pay you maintenance and you may also get universal credit so you may not be as bad as you think. Use the CMS website to see how much he would have to give you.
I have to say its pretty shitty he's refusing to leave and making you take the kids elsewhere.

Did you contact a solicitor ?
From my understanding you can get a court order for him to A. Sell and split equity ( release from mortgage and then able to get uc help ) B. Buy you out ( maybe leaving you in a better position for mortgage). There is ways around it but I'm guessing if rent is such price in your area buying will be out of reach, there is shared ownership options also.

He buys you out of the house or you sell it.

Divorce and potentially sell up. It might be that you can argue for more of the equity as primary carer or in exchange for leaving his pension alone, that sort of thing.

I stayed in the house until it sold, got a small amount of UC, then went into rented while divorce went through and financial settlement agreed (took longer than needed to due to ex being unreasonable). In court I was awarded 70% of equity from house as the main carer and on a lower income, all of which I used as a deposit on a small, new build 2 bed house. I was able to benefit from incentives given by the builder, such as a legal fees paid for to keep costs down. I received higher UC while renting, but UC stopped as soon as I got the divorce settlement. The child maintenance, as well as Child benefit, was counted in full as income on my mortgage affordability assessment. UC does also counts as income. It was difficult but doable, although I realise I obviously live in an area where housing is cheaper than you. You can argue to stay in the family home in some circumstances until the children are older, but I personally wanted a clean break and to not be financially tied to my ex any longer than necessary due to worries about his financial instability and how difficult he made the whole process.

Dont move out. Get legal advice. Also apply for dla for your sen child. Have a look at the fb group disability form UK. For around 100 quid they help you with the form. Worth their weight in gold.

Use the equity from sale of house to purchase a shared ownership property, Universal credit will pay the rent element

Definitely get some legal advice and also look at the entitled to website that can help work out support available based on your income. Assume that you sell up and are either renting or buying elsewhere. You can get support for rent.

If he won't leave the home then your best option is likely to force the sale and take the equity.
If you have the kids 50/50 then you may not get any child maintenance so don't rely on that.

Each situation is different so you really need to speak to someone in detail about earnings, childcare costs and what you will be able to access.

He wont leave the house as he dosent really want the split, but i do as i just dont love him any more as tough as that is, im just not happy.

I guess i will need to gain some legal advice, its just a scary prospect that i might need to move from my family home and i am not willing to leave the kids behind so need somewhere suitable for us three.

You'd be foolish to leave the property without legal advice.

They usually advise to stay put as if you leave him in situ, he can be awkward about viewings etc if you try to sell up and you kind of prove you can house yourself & the kids with less.

Unless there's abuse, I'd look at moving out of the bedroom (or moving him out of it) and living as separately as possible. Eg. if there's a spare room or living space, or if the kids could share. You might need to tough it out while progressing the split.