Have finally realised that I'm a terrible friend. Not a very likeable person. Help me to be nicer

[rubbishfriend]

We owe heaps of people dinner invitations, contribute little to the DC's school and the DC spend loads more time round at other people's houses than they do having friends over at ours. People are so kind and it always surprises me. I must come across as all take and no give and I HATE it.

I don't like myself much

Why not throw a bank holiday BBQ and invite everyone you feel guilty about?

That's the sort of thing I'd love to be able to do Posie, but am too shy/scared. I get very stressed having people over for meals.

Stupid, I know.

Don't be too hardd on yourself rubbishfriend.

At least you realise your a bit rubbish - I think if you thought you were perfect you'd be rubbish!!!

Do something about it - like posie says have a BBQ, you'll feel

Good point cc21, and I do want to do something about it.

A lunchtime BBQ is quite low stress entertaining. Could be a good start to the new likeable me. If people actually come...

Of course they will, if the cooking side stresses you out just do burgers/sausages. You can't go wrong. People will appreciate the gesture (I know I would)

Sometimes you just have to make yourself do these things - you never know, you might enjoy it

If you have been invited to people for dinner, then you can't be that unlikeable. I have never been to anyone's for dinner. How is that for the popularity stakes? Still, it does mean that I do not owe anyone a meal!

We did a really really low stress bbq recently:

burgers on the bbq.
Buns, cheese slices, lettuce, tomato and relish on the kitchen table.
Make your own burgers!

Large tub of icecream and waffle cones for pud - no washing up!

Beers in the fridge, cranberry and fizzy water for non-drinkers.

Job done.

get dh/dp to do the bbq while you swan about serving drinks and handing out crisps

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rubbishfriend, are you me?

I'm crap. The people who invite us out (or used to, before we had DS) are all really 'good' adventurous cooks. I'm not the world's worst cook but my repertoire is limited and fairly bog standard .

I never remember birthdays or occasions (forgot my own birthday this year!), hardly ever phone old frinds or send letters or emails, and am crap at getting presents when I do remember.

People are so lovely to me, I'm always touched by being thought of or remembered, and I wish I was better but I just don't seem to have the mindset.

I need a hostess transplant!

Better get a BBQ then!

I would enjoy it, I like socialising. I just can't seem to get around to setting dates and actully inviting people. A million excuses. The story of my life at the moment

Dumbledore - I think it's DH they invite, not me...

Broccoli & Posie - your BBQs sounds like my kind of entertaining - the less I have to take responsibility for the better.

Rosemary - SO glad to know I'm not alone! Maybe our self-esteem is so low we don't think we don't deserve any attention? I hate cooking for people, even having DC's friends over has me stressing about what to cook. Ditto limited repertoire, not adventurous. lol @ hostess transplant

Youareamazing - hi to you too! You're nice, I like you already.

You can all come to mine for dinner. Bring a course each

Right, it's a date. I'll bring chili or some similarly exotic cuisine. That's if I even remember to show.

Awww Dumbledores Girl, you can come to mine for dinner any time you like love.

forgo the cooking completely. How about having a chinese/indian/mexican night? whatever takeaway you have in the area. I've always found it great fun to order in a few different things, so you all get a variety of food....losing the stress of cooking means you can concentrate on being with your guests.

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