Long story, bear with me.
Been with husband for 9 years, married 8, have a daughter that is 7.
When my daughter was 6 months old it had been that long since we had been intimate due to a lot of turmoil from prior to when she was born, through pregnancy, and after she was born. Our relationship was not good, at all. I found that he was speaking to women on escort services, but swore he never met up with them (this xo session happened years later). At the time I found this out he denied this was happening. He continued to this, reach out to females in the area from his past and strike up personal co variations with privately that were I appropriate, which I found out about this. At this point my daughter is now over a year old.
A gentleman began giving me attention and knowing my husband was doing these things I let this man give me attention. My husband and I separated for a year. I went on to have a relationship, as did my husband. It was awful with co-parenting. He was a liar, manipulative, malicious, threatening, controlling. Towards the end of the year we were separated he began to admit to his wrong doings, my current relationship was going bad, and my husband broke things off with his current girlfriend, and we got back together.
Fas forward five yeas and we are back in the same place. A bad place. Both of us, me especially haven’t worked through the emotions and feelings of the separation or what led to the separation. There’s resentment, trust issues. The same problems that we have always had, we just don’t get along.
We don’t fight, if we begin to disagree we go somewhere away from my daughter, we do things as a family. We both work. I’m the primary care taker, cook, cleaner, I do everything for our daughter. He takes care of the outside things. For almost a year now we haven’t been intimate, I e been sleeping with my daughter ( falling asleep) or sleeping on the couch. It started when we got a new puppy, I rarely sleep through the night so I’m up working on things, reading, watching tv, I don’t want to wake him. I have gotten so used to this and things are so estranged, I feel we are so far gone and like roommates. We’ve tried marriage counseling and that didn’t work. I’m currently going individually to see what I need to do..
I have accepted it how things are and I am willing to live like this. He has not. I’m lost here….