Saying no thank you/doesnt work for me etc on OLD

[Abitlessfun]

I am new to the dating world and have now had three back and forward conversations, arrangements to meet up and then the other person has backed out for various reasons - none of which seemed to be about me.

All seemed quite sincere but it got me thinking…. do people ever just say, I don’t think we are a good fit so I am bowing out…?

Should I understand the various reasons given as actually being a polite decline - but sparing my feelings?

And ‘don’t want endless texting/penpals’ is probably the #1 most common complaint women put in their profiles that I see. It’s not like these guys aren’t aware that it pisses women off.

The first time I did OLD, I had a couple of weeks of texting a guy before we met, and I just found that made it awkward when I realised that he was not over his ex and thus I was not attracted to him. I did text him politely but it felt quite embarrassing. After that, I did not have great long conversations with anyone via text. As long as they seemed capable of writing something halfway intelligent and I liked their appearance and profile, I'd meet up in person with them.
That was the point at which I did the "getting to know them" part. Much harder for them to pretend to be something they are not when you meet in person. I personally found it easier to say "no spark" when we hadn't built up a fake relationship for weeks before via text.

Yeah I’m talking about men I was speaking to on WhatsApp, as once I’ve arranged a date and I’m comfortable with the man I move to exchanging numbers (happens very rarely nowadays . They can definitely still see my message.

Is it really? As a straight female I’ve never really saw women’s profiles other than a couple of my female friends, so that’s interesting. It’s so bizarre, some men will ask you out on the first day or so of talking to them and some men will stretch it out. I’m relatively new to online dating so I used to let it go on for weeks but I learnt my lesson and don’t tolerate that anymore.

I’ve spent a couple of minutes looking at what some female friends (my age - mid-50s) see on Hinge and I wouldn’t say the guys were all awful by any means I would say say either that any of their profiles suggest much thought or effort had been put into them or would make me particularly curious if I was a woman.

It seems to be the last five half-decent photos on their phone and Country walk/Sunday roast/snuggles on the sofa ad infinitum. Very little that might actually make you sit up and take notice.

edit: btw it seems to take the women I know about 0.000034 seconds to swipe left! They are brutal!