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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update - I’ve done it. I’m free

18 replies

Strawberryvodka · 01/06/2025 21:00

Just in case anyone remembers my thread last year. I don’t know how to link to it I am sorry.
i divorced my husband of 30 plus years after ten years or more of a relationship without any physical or emotional connection, including his separate holidays (10 a year including his weekends away etc). I put up with this for ages, and then I met another man. I’m not proud that I had An affair.
im not going to sugarcoat it, the process of divorce was awful. He did not make it particularly easy. My adult kids weren’t happy and it took a while for them to come round to the idea. I lost half a stone, my hair started falling out and I didn’t sleep. I looked like the living dead last summer.
But now it’s finally over. I am divorced as of the end of April. I am still with my (I don’t know what to call him, boyfriend? Partner?) two days ago the cat and I moved into a little house by the sea. I cannot tell you how happy I am. My kids have come round to the idea, they still see their dad but not often as he’s usually away cycling.
just an update! Thank you to everyone who responded to my original thread. You don’t know how you helped. To change a life.

OP posts:
NimbleTiger · 01/06/2025 21:02

Big hugs

zenae · 01/06/2025 21:06

Wow, you amazing woman. This thread makes such good reading, as it closes the chapter on what many women are hoping they can do also.

You will have helped many to finally make the decision for themselves.

Good luck in your new home, it sounds lovely.

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 01/06/2025 21:08

Well done!!!

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 01/06/2025 21:10

I am hoping against hope to be in your position in a year OP. Huge congratulations, I'm so happy for you!

HellonHeels · 01/06/2025 21:12

So pleased for you! Well done enjoy your lovely new life.

SantasLargerHelper · 01/06/2025 21:21

Congratulations 🎊

I'm in a similar position. Divorce is ongoing but agreement has been reached.

My ex has left the country atm, not helping at all with the kids. But I don't care. I don't need him.

Isn't it wonderful to be able to start again at our age? I feel like i'm actually living life rather than just going through the motions.

Studyunder · 01/06/2025 21:24

Marriages are like jobs. No one else fully understands what you deal with.
You have one life and only you are living it.
Wishing you every happiness possible

cryinglaughing · 01/06/2025 21:26

Fab update.
Enjoy your new life with your cat by the sea.

FloofyKat · 01/06/2025 21:28

That’s a lovely, encouraging update. I wish you and your cat every happiness in your new home by the sea!

notatinydancer · 01/06/2025 21:33

Fantastic news 🥳 I’m not in this position thankfully, but you will have given hope to many people.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 01/06/2025 21:35

So glad for you - sounds like you have made a great life for yourself!

CatAsstrophe · 01/06/2025 21:50

Congratulations!

Wishing you all the best in your new home with your lovely cat companion, and a happy future with your BF/partner.

Judellie · 01/06/2025 21:51

Congratulations! So pleased you did it and wishing you all the best

SanFranBear · 01/06/2025 21:54

I love the idea of a little cottage by the sea with your lovely cat! Enjoy your one life, OP!

ChessorBuckaroo · 01/06/2025 21:58

Home by the sea sounds bloody lovely OP. Congrats on breaking free.

SingleMama0 · 02/06/2025 12:30

So pleased for you!!!

JungAtHeart · 02/06/2025 18:45

Thank you for posting. Honestly Mumsnet has been so insightful in helping me to understand what is normal and acceptable in a relationship. It’s explained DARVO, weaponises incompetence, mental load … I had no clue about any of this. Congratulations on your new found freedom. I separated from my DH in early December and my life has changed beyond measure.

Strawberryvodka · 11/06/2025 21:58

Thank you everyone who responded. I completely agree, @JungAtHeart . I love mumsnet.

OP posts:
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